The Ongoing Adventures of Naked Girl

The story of my quest to look good naked -- really good.

Sunday, February 29, 2004

It must be spring! We get a plethora of white butterflies between spring and early fall, and I saw my first today. So did Baja, and he's been on the hunt ever since. He almost never catches one, but I love to watch him "hunt." Anyway, seeing the butterflies reminds me that spring is just around the corner.

On that note, I have started to do some spring "refreshing" around the house. I purchased some frames for photos that have being laying about, I hung a lithograph Don got me for Valentine's Day, I got some organizing bins to help me with my candle storage, etc. I won't actually get into my Spring Cleaning until my vacation in April, but this is a good start.

Speaking of Don, I guess you're really in love when your honey still makes your heart go pitter-patter. We both left the house this morning -- Don going to work and me to run errands. I left a few minutes before him since I was stopping at the mailbox to drop off some bills. I knew we were going to both go down Sepulveda Blvd., but I didn't think I would see him. As I pulled up to the red light at Sawtelle, I looked in my rear view mirror, and saw his silver Honda coming up next to me. He pulled along side, and I rolled down my window to make a salacious remark (something about, "Are you going my way?"). I smiled the whole way to my first errand -- just because I saw him. It's amazing how, even after almost 8 years together, the sight of him takes my breath away. It must be spring!

I make fun of a lot of things, especially things I see on T.V. infomercials. This morning, I saw an ad for the EggStractor and I just gota good laugh out of it. I mean, how hard is it to peel an egg? I guess this is in reponse to the many who are on Atkins. I am a total gaget gal, but I have to draw the line at this!

Try as I might, exercise has not been a priority. We did take the dogs for a short walk yesterday and I was winded after 1/2 a mile. It was disappointing, but it was nice to get outside. I am going to try for the gym tomorrow, and even if I don't make 60 minutes on the treadmill, I'll feel accomplished just getting into the gym! Foods have not been good simply because nothing tastes good. I did make turkey meatloaf and mashed potatoes last night, and that tasted pretty good -- very much comfort food. Of course, the foods that "sound" good -- mac & cheese, risotto, mashed potatoes, etc. -- are all carbs and BAD BAD BAD. But they still sound good....

Off to go clean up the mess I've made by dragging out the tool box. Also, a nap is sounding godd right about now....

Thursday, February 26, 2004

I did forget to add that it is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. I know many readers are suffering from some type of eating disorder, or if not, at least a body image "disorder." I know I do.
We survived the rain and the floods! Actually, I was able to get home about 30 minutes before the skies opened up. For some reason, I still have a funky taste in my mouth that makes everything taste metallic. Nothing tastes good, which is why I didn't eat hardly anything yesterday. I am getting breakfast from the cafe downstairs today. I still have that taste in my mouth, but I am really hungry (gee, imagine that).

Work is going OK for the moment. I'm still having some frustrating moments, and sometimes I think I'm close to the breaking point. I have one girl, whom I have spoken to on several occassions about personal phone calls, on one right now that's lasted 10 minutes. Yesterday, she was on one for over 30 minutes. I am going to have to talk to her yet again and threaten her with counseling. Another girl is ticked off I spoke to her about her getting in late in the morning and getting back late from lunch -- 62 tardy minutes just last week. She complained to my boss I was being insensitive because she HAD to go home at lunch to visit her mother (her father passed away last year). She never once told me about this, she just took it upon herself to take a 75 minute lunch. Needless to say, that's been nipped in the bud, but once again I am the "bad guy." This is on top of the the extra work I have taken on since we're replacing the other leader in the office (although this is on hold -- more work for me!). Don't mean to be bitter, but I keep hoping for some sort of recognition and all I got was a lousy one line on my review -- Shannin assisted manager in stepping in as an additional leadership resource for the Aerospace desk. This was very much appreciated. That's it. No acknowledgment of all the work I've done around their staffing, phone stats, financials, monthly client meetings, monthly reports, etc. OK, enough bitching. I just had to get that out there before I let it get to me.

I'm looking forward to the weekend, that's for sure. I don't have much planned, but I really need to clean up my fridge and pantries. I know it's not very exciting, but I always feel better when things are clean and organized.

Off to go help the staff learn how to use the new instant messaging program we have. It's actually pretty neat, and will cut down on some of my e-mails (hopefully).

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

I'm back! Even though I have been at work all week, it's really tired me out. I get home pretty well exhausted. Plus, I had a ton of work and e-mails to catch up on. I hate not being able to access my work e-mail from home. I mean, why do I need to get 100 e-mails in two days?

I have not been able to get back into the gym, and probably won't until Saturday. My lungs are still a little raspy when I take a deep breath, and I don't want to be hacking on the treadmill. I guess the good news is that I am actually down a pound since the first of the month. My foods have been so off, I just assumed I would be up 1 or 2. I don't expect any miracles between now and next Monday, but I would love to be down just a bit.

We're expecting a big storm here this afternoon. I'm not sure when it's supposed to hit, but I get off work at 4:00 PM, and I'm going straight home, so hopefully it won't be too bad until after I get home. I don't mind rain, but I hate driving in it -- not because I'm afraid of the weather, just the other drivers!

Back to work! I almost have my desk cleaned off!

Sunday, February 22, 2004

I'm still here....barely. I thought I was feeling better, and then decided to go to Trader Joe's. Even that little excersion tired me out. I was sweating, panting from just getting a few items! I guess this really shows me who is boss -- my body, not my mind. I haven't even done that much this afternoon, yet I'm feverish and fatigued. It ticks me off when I "think" I feel strong, only to be betrayed by my body. I still think I can make it into work tomorrow. At least I hope so -- I hate to think I've wasted more than half my sick days only 2 months in to the year.

I guess the good news is that I've slept through the last two nights. I'm still tired throughout the day, but I feel somewhat rested. My doctor won't clear me for excercise until my lungs are clear -- hopefully later this week. I am starting to feel some cabin fever, so getting into the office will be a good thing.

My foods have been spotty at best. I'm eating a lot of things I shouldn't under the guise of "not feeling well." But even the stuff I shouldn't be eating, like ice cream, doesn't taste good, so I don't even know why I'm eating it!

We're supposed to be getting some more rain today -- it's been "partly"cloudy today, but it looks like rain now. I'm really hoping for some cooler temps this evening so we can build a fire for tonight's "Sex in the City" finale. I don't know how the show should end, but I hope she doesn't choose Mr. Big. That seems like such a cop out to me.

Off to rest some more. I'm getting tired of resting, but at least I'm getting a lot of reading done!

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Now I know why I've been feeling so cruddy -- I have bronchitis. Even with this diagnosis, I was happy that my doctor noticed my weight loss and my good blood pressure. I also got a call from my new doctor who got my blood work back and everything is normal, but he wants to work on my thyroid -- exactly what I've been saying! Anyway, I have two inhalers to help me breathe, and they seem to be working. I'm still feeling fatigued and I tend to wheeze when I breathe. I did get the rest of the day off, and an excuse for tomorrow. The thing that has me a little ticked off is that I know how I got this -- one of the girls (the one who called me La Gorda) has been sick for the last month, and she didn't want to take any time off. In the end, about 7 or 8 people have gotten sick, and I really believe it's because of her not taking any time off when she was ill. What is it about these people who are so self-absorbed? She didn't want to take time off, so those of us who did get sick had to? I mean, I could have gone against doctor's orders and gotten everyone else sick. The sad thing is, several people have complained about this girl -- she seems to always come in sick, but use her sick days for car problems. So instead of her using her sick days, the 8 of us have to use ours. It just doesn't seem fair.

So what am I going to do? I can't go to the gym, although maybe the steam room might be good. Daytime T.V. sucks. OK, I admit to watching "The Young and the Restless" (Don got me hooked), but there really isn't that much on. I'm trying to read, but I just don't seem to have the concentration. I'd like to try and clean, but I'm not that inspired. I'm not one for naps, no matter how badly I slept the night before. Don will be home most of the day Friday, all day Saturday and working Sunday. I don't even have the energy to make candles or soaps (plus I have a ton of made projects just waiting for me to give them away!).

I guess the good news in all of this is that I am not hungry -- nothing tastes good. About the only thing that feels good is warm liquid (soup, tera, Cream of Wheat) or fizzy drinks (club soda). I might even drop a few more pounds between now and next Wed. I really didn't want to get on the scale at the doctor's office, but it showed a loss from last week, and a big loss since the last time I was in her office. I actually have hope that between my exercise, foods and (hopefully) my new thyroid treatment will help me get over this hump.

Sorry for the meandering blog today, but I just can't seem to think straight.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

What a rainy day here in Southern California. We need it, so it's actually welcomed. Of course, I can say that because I am ensconced at home for the rest of the day. I came home at 1P to finish writing my staff reviews. I had my review with my boss today and it went very well. No big surprises. She has high expectations, so getting the rating of "Meeting Expectations" is very nice. She rated me higher than I did in some catagories. Overall, it was a very good meeting and I have some specific goals for next year.

My interview also went well. I still am not sure I have the experience they need in this position. It's very project oriented, and I haven't had the chance to participate on a lot of large scales projects. I did send a thank you note, and he responded he appreciated my professionalism. As I told Don, I may not have gotten this job, but I think I did make a good impression. Even if I don't get this job, I am feeling more confident about my current job. Often times, after meeting with my boss, I do feel re-energized.

Well, the rest of the day will be spent trying to feel better. My cough has not gotten better, and I find it hard to even think about exercising. My eating has not been on plan, either. I've been eating a lot of soup and drinking a lot of liquids, but I also have been eating a lot more carbs than usual -- crackers with the soup, etc. I'm really trying not to weigh myself until next Wednesday when I have my nutritionist appointment, but it's hard not to take a peek. I'm worried that the carbs, the increase sodium intake (eating prepared foods) and the lack of exercise will mean a gain instead of a loss, even though I'm probably eating fewer calories than usual. Oh, well. Just one more friggin' setback.

I just want to feel better. I hate being sick!

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Just taking a quick break from writing reviews -- oh, joy. The one thing I have to say about AMEX is that we do have a great review system. I don't dislike writing them since I have a pretty good team. I don't even hate delivering them. It just gets so repetitive, especially the goals area. Luckily, I am the master of cut-n-paste. I have to make sure I change the names for each one though.

And, partly because of writing reviews and partly because I feel like crap, I am working from home. It's not too bad -- sitting on the couch, watching Jerry Springer and writing reviews. I'm hoping to get the goal section done for my staff this morning (I have 4 done so far) and then write the rest after my interview, which is at 4:00 PM. I am excited about this. I still don't know if I have the exact skill set that's needed, but I'm hoping they will allow for a bit of a learning curve.

Off to finish my reviews!

Monday, February 16, 2004

What a relaxing weekend! Just what the doctor ordered after my crummy week. Even my blood pressure was down enough for my doctor to actually prescribe 60 day's worth and I don't have to see him for 6 weeks.

Don and I had a wonderful 3 days. We even laid out on the deck Saturday afternoon. We did one walk with the dogs and one day at the gym. Dinner was amazing, as usual. I did have a few "observations," however. It seemed that because it was Valentine's Day, they crammed people in. The noise level was pretty loud. The thing that really stuck in my craw was that I saw 4 people on cell phones, including the couple on either side of us. That just really bugged me. I would have been so offended if Don took a call in the middle of a romantic dinner. That is impossible, of course, because Don doesn't own a cell phone (will wonders never cease?). Also, one of the couples next to us needed to get a room. Do I really need to watch two people tongue wrestle as I dine? I don't think so.

I think I was just in a snarky mood because I was not feeling my best. As it turns out, I have caught what everyone else in my office has been suffering from. I'm running a low-grade fever, sore throat, dry cough, overall malaise, chest congestion, etc. I can only hope I can nip it in the bud before it turns in to something really ugly. Of course, I could use a day or two off, but I'd rather not give up 2 sick days. I may see about using some vacation time at the end of the week if I'm not feeling better. We'll have to play it by ear.

We did see two films this weekend -- "Lost in Translation" and "The Cooler." We both thought "Lost in Translation" was OK, but not really Oscar worthy. We did love "The Cooler" -- very well written and some great performances, especially Alec Baldwin. I really hope he wins.

Off to try and get some work done in this abbreviated work day.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

First of all, thank you to everyone who posted comments or e-mailed me. After such a horrible experience, it really made me feel like I am not alone in this fight. As my nutritionist said, "Shannin, you are so much better than this girl. You know it, I know it and everyone who is important to you knows it. Yes, her comments hurt, but, in the end, you are NOT going to let some petty comment from some tiny, immature person derail your progress. She can't even hold your handbag, much less cast a shadow over your radiant light." And you know what, I am not going to let this comment drag me down. My ego and self-esteem are a little bruised. I woke up at 4:00 this morning and really did not want to come in and face these people. I am not going to hide -- I have nothing to be ashamed of. I have more pride than that. Even if I did have fantasies of having these people disintegrate before my withering stares, I am going to be so professional to them today -- kill them with appropriate behavior (I can't promise kindness, I'm still to angry).

In the end, they will be written up. My boss was very supportive and saw the same flippant attitude I did when she spoke to them. As she said, "You can't always teach common decency." So, a big Thank You to my mom and dad for bring me up just right.

I did struggle with my foods yesterday. I choose not to eat anything but a plum and then was really hungry last night. I did have a pastrami sandwich but only ate half (saved some for the dogs). The scale showed it this morning. I think it's because it was so salty. I'll have to pound the water and make sure I go to the gym tonight. The good news is that I have tomorrow off with Don, so I will have the weekend to regroup.

Of course, now I am afraid of eating in front of my co-workers. Isn't that stupid? It's not like I am not chowing Super Sized McDonald's Value Meals or whole pizzas. I don't usually partake in the goodies that are brought in from vendors. I'm just worried that I might retreat to the other end of the spectrum and not eat at all, which according to my nutritionist, is just as bad as over eating.

The quote that got me through the day yesterday is an oldie, but a goodie, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can break my heart." May I always think twice about saying something that may cause another to feel pain.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

I am writing this blog with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat.

I don't often think of myself as being a target of bigotry, and maybe I'm a little sheltered. However that image came shattering down today.

I was finishing up a diversity call while monitoring the phones at the office today. I noticed a call holding for a few minutes and noticed that one of the agents was on an intercom call speaking to one of the other girls in the back. I muted my call and called over to this girl and asked her to take the call. I overheard her say, "I gotta go, La Gorda wants me to take a call."

I don't speak a lot of Spanish, but I do know that La Gorda means "the fat one."

I literally saw red. My heartbeat pounded in my ears, my jaw clentched, my hands started to shake, tears welled in my eyes and my voice caught in my throat. The first thing I did was to confront the person in the back. I pulled her aside and told her I did not appreciate being called that. She said, "OK," and walked out of the conference room without any apology. I went back on to the reservations floor, and one of the other Team Leaders asked me what was going on. I filled her in, and she was as amazed and angry as I. We both pulled the agent in who said that, and again no apology. As she walked out of the conference room, she even chuckled like it was no big deal. We called her back in, and she gave some lame excuse that Latins come up with nicknames for each other.

My boss isn't in the office yet, but I did write an e-mail to her and this agent's leader. The sad part is, the second girl obviously knew who "La Gorda" was, so I have to wonder who else in the office calls me that. The funny part, if you can find a funny part, is the girl who called me this is at least as big as I am.

I'm calmer now. I did have a good cry over the phone with Don, who, as always, was supportive. I am trying with all my might to stay cool and collected (and not shoot the offending parties -- with an evil eye). I will demand this gets resolved immediately, and I am in support of putting these two on counseling (this is something pretty severe, and it the first step to getting fired). I will finish out the day with professionalism, even though all I want to do is run home and crawl into bed.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

OK, I am going to fess up right now. I am not going to the gym. I should -- I know I should. But I think that what I really need is to go to Macy's and Robinson's and hit the Estee Lauder & Clinique counters. Hey, gift with purchase -- who can refuse them? My rationalization is this -- I feel like I want to reward myself (for what, I'm not even certain), and I cannot do it with food (as much as I'd like to). I actually need some stuff, I'll get a little sumthin-sumthin in return and it doesn't have any calories!

I am then going to go home and finish reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven. I am only a few pages in, and it's a very engaging story about an 83-year old man who dies and goes to heaven to discover that heaven is really a place that 5 people explain your life. It's written by Mitch Albom who also wrote Tuesdays with Morrie.

Off to shop 'til I drop!
I didn't make it to the gym yesterday, despite my good intentions. All hell broke loose at the office -- people calling in sick, call volume up about 25% over a normal Monday. The only thing that could have capped it off was if the phones or computers went down.

My gym plans were foiled because I ended up staying until 5:15 PM, and I needed to be home by 5:30 since the dogs were outside. I also ended up getting off of my food schedule a little, but I did eat all of my meals and I did it on plan. The only little slip was a few handful of crackers around 2 PM. I really wanted to binge. I really thought I "deserved" something special for all the hard work I was doing -- ice cream, Mexican food, chips. Ahhh, but I didn't. I was tempted to even order Mexican food last night, but I grilled up some tasty sausages (chicken with habanero chilies) and tossed together a small salad. My real reward for being on plan -- down 2 pounds this morning. This made me happy, of course, but I still don't seem satisfied. Why can't I just be happy about this?

Today is looking ugly, but not nearly as ugly as yesterday. Some of the incidents over the last few months and especially the last few weeks, are making me seriously consider my career path. I just don't like managing people. I don't like the fact that my review is partially based on my direct reports' performance and if they like me. I'm having a hard time with a few of the employees "talking behind my back" and I hate feeling like I'm in high school. I get a long well with my peers and management and most of the staff, but there is one or two I would love to foist on to another leader. I'm keeping my fingers crossed on the job interview next week. I just hope it's something that is really interesting and stable.

I'm on plan so far with my breakfast. I am still fighting the urge to binge. I'd love to be able to go into my nutritionist appointment tomorrow down 2 pounds. Why is this such a struggle??

Monday, February 09, 2004

The weekend was very nice. The weather was great, I got some errands done, went to the gym on Saturday and burned 700 calories on the treadmill and went for a 1 1/2 mile walk with Don and the dogs on Sunday. Food was OK, but not great. I did fine until Saturday dinner and then, once again, decided to take the easy way out and went to get Paco's instead of cooking something. I did fine on my Sunday meals, however I missed all of my fruit snacks. I have the hardest time getting all of my snacks in over the weekend. I usually don't have an issue during the work week since I'm on a schedule. Guess I'll have to work on that. The bottom line is that I am the exact same weight as I was last week.

My plans for this week will mirror last week -- gym on Monday, Tuesday, Friday and at least once over the weekend. I have a 3-day weekend with Don, and I am really looking forward to that. I don't have Monday off, so Don and I both took Friday off. We don't have any big plans over the weekend -- we will be going to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, Crustacean for Valentine's Day. It's a wonderful place. The front wall of the restaurant is a huge fish tank that continues into the restaurant on the floor. The have a secret kitchen that only the family can enter. We always get their grilled prawns and garlic noodles. Talk about heaven on a plate!

Off to schedule the rest of my busy week.

Friday, February 06, 2004

So today wasn’t the picture-perfect day I wanted. I didn’t have the perfect breakfast – choosing to order from the on-site café over eating my oatmeal. I also overate at lunch, choosing a tostada salad from El Pollo Loco instead of my protein and veggie meal.

I’d like to write this off as nerves before confronting Z. My meeting with her went well – I don’t think I told her anything that surprised her. After getting that over, I thought my day would be downhill, but she asked to speak to me 10 minutes before I was supposed to leave. She asked if her attendance was the reason she would not be getting the “year end” award. I had to say yes, and she broke into tears. In the end, I really think we made some great strides. It was hard for me, because I don’t like to be a hard-ass. I really wanted to reward her, but I cannot justify this. I think that because I hate confrontation, I overate this morning to “fortify” me. And then, this afternoon, overate to “reward” myself – once again turning to food as a reward.

I also didn’t make it to the gym. When I got out of work, it was 5:15, and it gets dark at about 5:30 and the dogs were outside. Isn’t it funny that my dogs’ well-being is more important than my own? I know that I will have to do 60 minutes on the treadmill on Saturday and Sunday. So be it.

I am going to spend the rest of the night relaxing and catching up on my TiVo programming (Survivor, CSI, Law & Order).

Tomorrow is another day.

Thursday, February 05, 2004

Surprise, surprise....I was actually down 3 pounds in two weeks according to my nutritionist scale. I have also posted my food plan for the week on the right hand side. As you can see, I do get a lot of foods, and no real restrictions, although right now I am not eating bread carbs (potatoes, pasta, rice, etc.). This plan is supposed to accelerate weight loss to get me on the right track. I've done pretty well today, although I did miss meal two because I was meeting with my boss.

Work really kicked my ass last night. I directly manage a team of 7, and 90% of the time they are great. Every once in awhile, one of them pitches a fit. One woman, I'll call Z, is getting a little too big for her britches. She passive-aggressively asked my boss why I hadn't given out any recognition for last year. Of course, my boss wanted to know what the heck that meant, seeing how I had given out plenty of awards, including one award to her plus a huge thank you and a 1/2 day off (paid) for doing a great job. Anyway, she continued to whine about her lack of recognition to several other people in the office. And, here's the kicker.....we have a yearly program where the top 7% of the agents get a all-expense paid trip to some where fabulous (this year it's San Juan, Puerto Rico). The next 7% of the agents get a plaque and a $250.00 gift check. I really wanted to recognize Z for some of the great work she did, despite some issues I actually overlooked (some attendance and personal phone call issues). She called in sick (hangover) on Monday and then told me that on Tuesday. One of my duties is to also monitor phone calls to review customer service. I caught her on a personal call talking "inappropriately" with someone who was not her husband. And she has the gall to complain she doesn't get recognized? She came in hungover today, and she just left because she wasn't feeling well. I really wanted to talk to her today, but it looks like I'll have to deal with it tomorrow. Hopefully it won't be another sleepless night. Why do I stress out over this stuff? Because I care too damn much!

So, no nail appointment tonight, which is fine. Since I didn't sleep very well last night, it's going to be nice to get home early and relax. I will go to the gym tomorrow, as planned.

As a reminder, tomorrow is National Women Wear Red Day to raise awareness of heart disease in women. Please join me in wearing red tomorrow!

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

To be 100% honest, I could not complete 60 minutes on the treadmill last night. My legs were just too dead. I mean, when was the last time I actually did 4 days in a row? I don't even think I can tell you. Also, I was working out next to this woman who was really bugging me. I know I shouldn't focus on others when I am working out, but it was hard not to. When I am on a treadmill, I don't care if those on either side of me are running or walking -- as long as they have a consistent pace. This woman would walk about 2 minutes and then get off the machine. She was reading the newspaper and every single time she turned the page, she would have to step off. She would also get off the machine and toss out her section of newspaper, which seemed to take 3-4 minutes, and then get back on. In the meantime, people were waiting for the treadmill. It was just so distracting. And, even though I wear a Walkman, I knew she was talking to people on the other side of her, and if I didn't have my earphones on she would have tried to strike up a conversation with me. I'll just have to avoid her in the future.

I have eaten well ever since my mini-binge on Tuesday. I haven't gotten all of my water in today, so I'll have to work on that between now and the end of the evening. I am meeting Don at the Baja Cantina, a local Mexican bar, which is actually where we met. I know I can choose some of their more healthy options, like soft tacos rather than hard and they do have shrimp or chicken fajitas. I'll just have to stay away from the alcohol.

One interesting thing happened. I had applied a few weeks ago for a different position within my company -- completely outside of the travel realm. I didn't think I was qualified, but I like to keep my resume and interviewing skills up-to-date. I did speak to the hiring manager today and he wants to meet me in 2 weeks. He did say 35 people applied, and in the first wave he was just trying to assess peoples' skill levels and he felt that I met them. It would mean a slightly longer commute, but not that much different (and it would be going against traffic!). I also wouldn't manage people (no more review writing!!). I would me coordinating a staff of 8 seasoned sales managers (keeping schedules, making travel arrangements, doing expense reports, correspondence, etc.). It is so different than what I am doing now. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I am actually pretty excited about this opportunity.

Off to see my nutritionist. I don't think I'm down very much from my last visit with him 2 weeks ago, but I will be posting my meal plan for the week.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Grrrr....just when I thought I was doing well. I actually sneaked a peak at the scale this morning and was down 2.4 pounds from Sunday morning. I was thinking to myself, "Gee, I guess this exercise stuff really does work!"

I ate a sensible breakfast, had my mid-morning snack and ate a wonderful lunch. I was sated -- not stuffed, not hungry, but for some reason felt that a small bag of cheetos (180 calories), a heath bar (210 calories) and two maple cookied (208 calories) was in order! Why in the hell do I do this to myself? My workout at the gym is going to have to burn 598 calories just for me to break even today. That means I will not be able to bail 10 minutes early while complaining of sore quads.

Thanks to Denise's post who helped me realize I am going to have to be brutally honest with myself, which means confessing all of my dietary sins.

Monday, February 02, 2004

OK, so I only did 45 minutes on the treadmill. My quads and calves were killing me. As it was, it’s an amazing thing I even made it to the gym. The last hour at work would have driven anyone else to the nearest bar. The other leader in the office was really ticking me off. I needed to run some reports regarding phone stats – our office is on an Automated Call Distribution system, and we need to prove to some clients that 80% of their incoming calls are answered within 20 seconds. I have a monthly meeting with our biggest client to show them these reports. Our meeting is tomorrow at 8:30 AM. All leaders are supposed to monitor our stats daily, and until recently this leader has been less than interested. However, she is taking a new position (a demotion) and all of a sudden she is watching these stats like a hawk. This is a touchy computer, so only one person can run a function at a time. I had gotten her internet access at the beginning of the year, yet she still used the old way, which interferes with my running reports. I told her I was running these reports, yet TWICE she quit my request so she could “watch the phones.” Luckily I am in early tomorrow and will be able to run the last 4 I need before the meeting, but her attitude really pissed me off.

Despite this, I went to the gym. I really like our gym, The Spectrum Club. It has a good mix of ages, races and body types. I feel very comfortable there. The one thing I don’t like is that the gym is 3 floors, and the cardio equipment is on the third floor, naturally. I hate taking the stairs because I am pretty much out of breath by the time I get there. Grrrrrr. The other thing that got me off the treadmill a little early is because the T.V. that I was watching was showing CNN. Normally not a problem, but they must have showed Janet Jackson’s breast 30 times in the 45 minutes I was there. I thought about turning CNN into the FCC for “indecent exposure.” I guess since most everyone has already seen it (a hundred times!), I didn’t think they needed to run it anymore. My personal thoughts – it was staged. "Wardrobe malfunction" my ass. It’s all about ratings, baby.

I did come home and sauté up a few chicken breasts with garlic, onions, mushrooms and sweet peppers. It does smell great in here, even though I’m not really hungry. I really should go and do dishes, but I keep hoping they will magically disappear when I’m done here.

The rest of the night should be pretty quiet. It's raining, which is a nice change for Southern California. We need it. Of course, my ideal for a rainy, cold day is to be at home, in PJs & slippers, with a roaring fire, drinking hot chocolate and reading a really good book. I guess I can be grateful that my commute is 3 miles and usually less than 10 minutes.

Off to go pack my gym bag for tomorrow. I also need to finish up my breakfast & lunch as well. I keep hoping that I won't have to go to my meeting, but I've dodged the last two, so I know that isn't in the cards.
What a weekend. The weather here was wonderful. I made it to the gym on Saturday and for a walk with Don and the dogs on Sunday. We ate well while we watched the Super Bowl -- a huge platter of fresh veggies, some olives, nuts, cold shrimp and baked chicken wings. The good thing is that we noshed from about 1:00 PM until halftime. We each had a few beers, but nothing that would break the bank. We also had some fat-free sorbet for dessert. Yum!

I can tell you there are a lot of great things about not seeing an event like the Super Bowl live. No standing in lines (security, concessions, restrooms), you don't have to pay $7 for a beer or $5 for water, you can wear your slippers, your dogs can watch with you, you don't have to deal with parking, TiVO (to replay the end of the halftime show just to make sure you saw what you thought you saw).......I could go on. One of the best things was that I got to watch it with Don, and that really made my day.

I have my gym bag packed for after work. My goal is another 60 minutes on the treadmill. I figure if I can hit the gym Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and one day over the weekend, I will get back on track.

Off to wade through all of my e-mails. I can't believe that in one day out of the office, I got 71 new e-mails. No wonder I never get anything done!