Blog Troubles

So the designer of my customized blog is MIA and I have no way of contacting her or getting my template back, so it's back to basics.
Anyway, I just haven't had the time to play around with this over the last month. Work has been really busy -- it's budget season and planning for 2009 staffing. By the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is get on the computer.
Don's job is ramping up. He's been switched from the Vikings' beat to the Timberwolves' one but is still helping to cover the Vikings (very long, political story). His travel is going to be a bit of a nightmare, but we'll get through it.
Life in general is going pretty well. I have kind of started back-to-basics with diet and exercise after a few months of "vacation." I'm still hanging in there between 165 - 170, but I've been feeling a little sluggish. I also had a bit of an episode and discovered I have high blood pressure and borderline anemia. I'm on meds for the BP and have upped my iron intake to see if that helps. My thyroid reading was way off as well, so they changed the dosage on my Synthroid. I have a full physical on Monday to see if there is anything else. In the meantime, I've tried to focus on more fresh fruits and veggies, more lean protein and less processed foods. I'm back doing yoga and trying to meditate to help with the relaxation.
Don and I have been getting out and about more. We went to the RenFest last Saturday and then went to our Fantasy Football Draft Party on Sunday. This weekend is my company's summer picnic. We both have doctor's appointments on Monday morning and then it's off to the State Fair for fried fat & sugar on a stick.
The big weekend is September 5 - 7 -- it's my 40th birthday on Friday. I've taken the day off, although I haven't decided what to do. I was thinking about Valley Fair (like Six Flags) but I may be fair & festival-ed out by then. The other option is lunch at a lakeside restaurant and then a lake cruise. I'll also check out some museums to see if there is anything that pops out at me.
Now that I have the basic template fixed, I'll try and get my links up and fixed soon! Hope I still have a few readers out there!

Aloha! Means Hello & Good-Bye

I can't believe I'm off to Hawaii in 5 days! It still seems so far off, but it's really right around the corner. I have this weekend and then 3 days of work and then off to the islands. Then, the real mind bend -- home for 3 days and then off to California. I'm not even counting those 3 days at home, although I will go in to work (mostly to show off my tan...) since we're leaving super early on Saturday, June 28. We'll return home on Saturday, July 12 giving me a day to recoup before going back to work on July 14.

My time in Hawaii will be great -- I have a luau the day I get there, a helicopter ride & dinner Friday, the wedding & dinner Saturday and then a brunch on Sunday. There will only be the bride & groom, their parents and 3 friends (2 work friends and me). I finally have my dress, purse and shoes together with a tentative palette of accessories (not real sure of the necklace). I've even been tanning -- something I haven't done in years -- just to make sure I'm not Minnesota-white when I get there.

I still have a few things to try and get done -- a manicure, waxing (not the fun kind) and general packing. The good thing is that I got out of work early on Thursday and did some shopping, which included a new bathing suit, cover-up, some capri pants and some new books. I know -- I still have a ton of unread books but none were really "beach reads" so I needed to get a few to tide me over.

With this trip pending, I haven't even been able to get excited about my (now) annual trip to California. We hemmed and hawed about this, especially with the price of gas, but decided it was too important. Usually, it's a good break for Don before he's off to cover the start of Viking training camp, but he got thrown a curve 2 weeks ago. The powers that be at his paper decided to move him from the Viking beat to the Timberwolves beat. He's never covered the NBA before, and it was all politics, but I'm sure he'll do a good job. The tough part will be the travel. For the NFL, it was 1 pre-season game and 8 regular-season games on the road which meant 2 nights away. The NBA is much different -- there could be as many as 6 nights away at a time, and there are 41 road games to cover. Ugh.

The trip to California will be different, too. We have driven the 4th of July weekend, but with the timing, we're actually going the week before. That means, we'll be in Santa Barbara Sunday - Thursday AM, in Los Angeles Thursday - Sunday afternoon and then back in SB from Sunday PM until Friday AM before we head back to Minnesota. I'm hoping to get appointments with my chiropractor & nutritionist on Thursday, July 3 plus I'll get to see my mom at least once while I'm in LA. I'll see Dad & Dean on Wednesday, July 2 for a bit plus dinner that night.

It's a lot of logistics, but as long as I get a few good days by the pool (for me) and a few long walks on the beach (for the dogs), I should be good until next year.

Work is going very well. I'm loving my new boss and his leadership. I wasn't sure about it when it was announced, but he's really proven himself to me and my team. I still have a lot on my plate, but it seems so much easier than when I was doing my job plus my former boss's job. I'm actually getting home at a decent hour and even got back into the gym on weekdays last week.

I'll try and post a few more times before I leave for Hawaii since won't have my computer there, but I will have computer access when I'm in California.

Anyway, I'm going to try and catch up on what everyone else is doing. I've been a bad blogger from both a posting and commenting stand-point. I want to do better in these areas!!!

Tattoo You

I had to wait until it was healed and not peeling before I posted. I think it looks pretty good, and pretty ambitious for a first tattoo. I just now have to find some cute shirts to show it off in appropriate situations...

We had back-to-back 3-day weekends. The first one was marred by crappy weather - rainy & cold. The second one was much nicer, even though it rained on Friday. I volunteered at the St. Paul Cinco de Mayo festival on Saturday. It was windy and cool, but in the sun it was pretty nice. On Sunday, it was in the mid-60s and I spent a good portion of the day out on the deck reading and absorbing some vitamin D. We did go see Harold & Kumar which was funny in a very low-brow way.

I'm actually going to try and get back into a gym routine beginning tomorrow. I haven't been able to go on a regular basis because of work, but I have to stop using that as an excuse. My weight has remained stable despite stress and long hours (in fact, maybe because of those factors).

The other good news is that I'm on my second week of being able to sleep through the night. It's making such a huge difference in how I'm feeling. I have a lot more energy and I'm not nearly as crabby. Plus, I'm not anxious about not sleeping through the night. The best part - I didn't do it with drugs. I think it's just less work-related stress and more regular hours.

I think one of the other reasons I'm feeling better is that the weather has finally turned the corner. I can even put up with some rainy days as long as it's warm and things are beginning to turn green. I'm getting outdoors more, breathing some fresh air and getting some rays.

Who needs Prozac with a few sunny days?

Counting Sheep

Once again, I am up at an ungodly hour. Why is my brain so active at 3:00 AM when I should be sleeping?

One of my goals for May is not to work more than 50 hours a week. How sad is that? I am giving up my time to work in exchange for less time with my family, less time at the gym (ugg - nothing like paying $50 a month for nothing more than the honor of holding a gym card), less time doing things I love - especially now that the weather has decided to play nice.

My typical day starts at 5:30 AM when the alarm goes off. I try to be on the road by 6:15 AM, which means I am at my desk with my computer revved up by 7:00 AM. I usually have back-to-back (to back) meetings from 8:00 AM until 4:00 PM. I don't get out of the office until close to 5:30 PM (on a good day - some days, it's closer to 6:30 PM or later). I get home after 6:00 PM and then it's cook and eat dinner, try to catch up on some TiVO'd shows, spend some time with Don & the dogs. I "retire" between 8:00 - 9:00 to read before bed before "falling asleep" by 10:00 PM. I don't seem to have an issue with starting to sleep, but I have been getting up between 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM and not being able to fall back to sleep until close to 5:00 AM. By then, I am a mess - who can only get by with a few hours of sleep? If that happens, I end up drinking 40+ ounces of coffee and maybe a Diet Coke or energy drink just to try and get me through the day.

In the end, I find myself drifting off during meetings (especially if the room is warm) or just being grumpy with my staff.

I am not eating on a regular pattern, which I know contributes to the overall feeling of yuckiness.

My main goal is to try and actually get a full night's sleep. I hope to get that this weekend with some major spring cleaning, a trip (or two) to the gym and just the relief of knowing that a lot of what's on my plate is going to go away now that I have a boss to take on some of this work. Granted, that won't turn my mind off but, maybe, that will help.

Off to try and get a few more winks before the dreaded alarm goes off in 90 minutes.

Things That Go Bump In The Night

I have been battling severe insomnia for several weeks. Even sleeping pills just get me to 3:00 AM or so before I am awake and ready for battle. I have a lot on my mind, which keeps me thinking long after I should be counting sheep, but these 3:00 AM sojourns need to stop.

All I do is think about what needs to be done around the house or at work. It ends up making my brain work over time when I should be sleeping. I tend to read or bead just to "numb" the brain into sleep, but it's not working. I hate that I'm wide awake at these ungodly hours, especially because I end up nodding off at my desk or at some meeting.

I can't tell you how often this has caused me to go in to work before 6:00 AM and then end up staying until well after 5:00 PM. I am just a bundle of nervous energy that probably a good turn at the gym would solve, but that would mean actually making time for a workout, which isn't in the cards right now.

So, what do I do at 3:00 AM? I read (I've finished about 10 books in the last few weeks), bead, surf the Internet. I should be writing in my journal to get some of this shit out of my mind, but it's too laborious to even put on paper.

Right now, it's 3:50 AM - I've been up since 2:30 AM and I know I should go to bed and try to sleep until the alarm goes off at 5:30 AM, but I can't. I toss; I turn; I sweat (where did this come from?); I itch; I think.

I know a body gets used to a pattern, but this is just ridiculous. Even sitting here, all I can think about is trying to sleep. Grrrr......

Off to try and count sheep, even if it's only for another hour or so....

I'm B-a-a-a-c-k!

OK, the hiatus is over. The biggest change is that I finally have a new boss, who starts tomorrow. He's coming over from a different department, but he's very aware of who we are and what we do. Overall, the changes that are being made make a lot of sense and aligns groups in a very logical way. Bottom line, I can stop working 12-hour days & weekends and hopefully start sleeping through the night.

In addition to these changes, I had emergency surgery 3 weeks ago. I had been having trouble eating - I would get severe cramps every time I ate any dense protein. This went on for a few days, but it got really bad on a Sunday. I went into work on Monday and cramped even when I tried yogurt or a protein shake. I went to the nurse who suggested I go to the ER, which I really didn't want to do. After a few hours of enduring major pain, I decided to go in to the ER at the hospital where I had my WLS. After a 3 hour wait, I finally saw the ER doctor who did an ultrasound (irritated and swollen gallbladder but no gallstones) and then a CT scan. The scan showed what they thought was a major blockage at the "Y" section of my intestines.

I was admitted immediately with surgery scheduled for the following day by my WLS surgeon. Usually, when they think there is a blockage, they insert a nasal gastric tube - a tube that goes into one nostril, down your throat and into your stomach - to drain all liquids prior to surgery. Don had already gone home - it was now 1:00 AM on Tuesday morning. I had been battling pain since Sunday night and hadn't slept very well, so I was a bit grumpy and just wanted to rest (the pain meds were making me sleepy). They got the tube in and it felt like I had a bone caught in my throat. I went into a panic attack and tried to pull the tube out. After waiting 15 minutes to see if I would calm down, they finally removed it.

I got some rest, but not a lot. The next morning when I met with my surgeon, he said they would insert the NG tube after I was under. That had to be the worst part of the whole ordeal. If anyone suggests an NG tube, just say no!

They thought they might need to re-do a portion of my surgery - essentially removing the blocked portion and "reassembling" the "Y" connection. When they actually got in there, it wasn't an internal blockage, but scar tissue between the abdominal wall on the outer portion of my intestine. This is somewhat common, but it usually shows shortly after surgery, not 2+ years later. In the end, the surgery was about an hour and I was in recovery for only a short time - Don was just getting ready to grab a bite to eat since I was supposed to be in recovery for 2 hours and I was in there for less than 1.

I came out of anesthesia very well, and Don said I didn't even look like I had surgery. I was up walking around by 6:00 PM Tuesday evening. My original release date was going to be Thursday, however because I was doing so well, I got to go home on Wednesday morning. I did take the rest of the week off, and am now sporting 6 more lap incisions but they look pretty good. I'm able to actually eat a normal meals. Of course, it came at a very inopportune time work-wise but there was no way I could have postponed it and I'm just glad they figured out what was causing the pain.

Other big news - on somewhat of a whim, I decided to get tattooed on Saturday. Don was working, I needed to kill a few hours so I ended up at Saint Sabria's with my friend, Jen. As soon as it heals, I'll have Don take a photo. It's a heart with rainbow-colored wings and it's located between my shoulder blades. Of course, seeing all the possibilities made me think of where to get my next tattoo (ankle, wrist, lower back). It didn't hurt as much as I thought. I like that it's in a place where it's not visible unless I want it to be.

Don is doing well - in the full throes of getting ready for next week's NFL draft. The 2008 season was released last week. His travel schedule isn't too bad - New Orleans, Phoenix, Tampa Bay, Jacksonville, Detroit, Green Bay, Chicago and Nashville. He will be home for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's.

The weather has FINALLY turned to Spring. We actually were getting snow the few days I was in the hospital. I was able to spend a few hours on the deck this afternoon catching up on my reading. It felt so good to get into the sun. We're supposed to get thunderstorms tomorrow, which I don't mind - just don't rain on my weekends!!

I'm hoping to get next Thursday & Friday off to finally tackle the spring cleaning around here. I have a list a mile long, but it just hasn't been spring-y enough to get into the mood.

Well, that's pretty much it for now. I should be able to dedicate more time catching up, both on my reading and on my posting. Hopefully not too many of my long-time readers have given up on me!

Snow, Snow, Go Away

I know I haven't updated in awhile - I was waiting for my blog template to be fixed, which is in the works. Anyway, I didn't want anyone to think I had fallen off the planet.

WORK: My boss left mid-February, leaving a huge hole in management. The decision has been made to divide his position into two Director-level jobs, and I have applied for Director, Workforce Management & Forecasting, Contact Center Management Group. Talk about a hoity-toity title. Anyway, I've been doing my manager's job plus taking on some director tasks, making my workday 10+ hours. We'll see if I get a promotion, but even if I don't, my workload has to get easier. Needless to say, the last thing I want to do when I get home is get on the computer for more than a check of e-mail and headlines.

FAMILY: Don is doing well - mostly alternating between a week of work and a week off, although he does have a few consecutive weeks of work as the NFL Draft approaches. The dogs are confused about the weather - almost fully melted yard (just a few icy patches) to 10+ inches between last Thursday night and yesterday. Dad is off on an Orient cruise for the next few weeks, which I hope is exciting for him. He will see things I probably won't - like the Great Wall of China. Mom is hanging in there with her living situation.

WEIGHT: I'm hanging right in between my goal weigh, although it's higher than I'd like. I haven't been able to get to the gym or yoga because of the job situation, but I'm eating pretty well and getting my calories in accordingly. I'd like to drop 15+ pounds, but that's not going to happen until I can get back into the gym on a regular basis. I could also use the yoga/meditation for relaxation. I did do a 1/2 day at a spa on Saturday - body scrub, seaweed wrap, full body lotion, facial, massage, scalp massage, hair wash & blow dry. It felt great - and well worth it.

I am doing some journaling, a lot of pleasure reading, catching up on TiVO'd shows, getting ready for Spring Cleaning. I'm ready for winter to be over and show us some Global Warming - like, into the 50s at least. Bring us some rain!

Despite the template not being up-to-date, I will try and visit my favorites this week. I need to know what's going on with everyone!!

Back to the Grind

Ugh - work has been killer, and it's affected my posting and reading of blogs! Damn, that job.

Anyway, life is actually pretty good. I am tired - not getting enough sleep for some reason or another. I am back into the work routine - up at 5:45 AM, at work by 7:00, home (maybe) by 6:00, dinner, some TV, maybe a few chapters of reading, to bed by 9:30, repeat. Don is on a bit of a hiatus while the NFL playoffs happen, although he'll be off to Phoenix on 1/26 for 10 days to cover the Super Bowl. I will join him on 1/31 for 5 days, so I still have to make reservations for the dogs at a kennel and figure out what to pack!! I am still hoping for a Cowboy/Colts game, but we will see.

Work is really busy - my first 3 days back I logged over 30 hours, and it doesn't look like it's going to get any easier. I haven't been sleeping well - mostly because I wake up sweating, even though it's 60 degrees in our bedroom. I figure if I can get a few nights' good sleep, it will solve everything. I need at least two huge mugs of coffee to wake me up.

This weekend should be a bit of a break with no real commitments. There are errands and chores, but we can do that together. We'll have time to to do something with the dogs and I will be able to get into the gym - at least for an aqua aerobics class.

Nothing like getting back into the movement to, well, actually, move forward...

Success

Well, 'tis the season for reflections. I know 2007 was a real up-and-down year, but in the end, I have to say it's been one of the best for me.

First off, when I look at my weight loss progress - and I don't even know if I can call it that any more - I will probably weigh about the same on 1/1/08 that I did on 1/1/07. That, my friends, is an accomplishment in my book. I've stayed within my self-imposed range for an entire year. My weight has stayed between 162 and 168. I realize that isn't model thin or even below "overweight" per the BMI scale (I'd need to get to 159 to be "normal"). Could I get into the mind game and really work to achieve 159? Sure - but at a cost I'm not ready to pay. I am working so hard to just stay where I am that to beat myself up over a few pounds (that, really, plastic surgery would "fix") isn't beneficial to my mental health.

Granted, there is a part of me that believes 165 (as of this morning) is still "fat." I hate that. I'm in a size 10 pants, a size 8 skirt and can buy bras at Victoria's Secret. I can walk into any store any buy clothes - Eddie Bauer, Ann Taylor, New York & Company, J Jill, H&M, etc. I know that plastic surgery would remove another 10-15 pounds, but part of me is still getting comfortable with my current weight that another 15 pound drop would really throw me into an emotional tizzy.

Anyway, besides the weight success, I am thankful for the health of me, Don, and the dogs. I am still trying to get my iron up to normal levels and they just found the cause of my stomach pain (large ulcer - treated with 80 mg. of Prilosec). My blood pressure still tends to run high, but we're just watching it for now. Don is great - he has just some hereditary issues to deal with, but we have a handle on those. The dogs got a clean bill of health at their last vet visit. We're just monitoring their joint issues but that doesn't seem to bother them. They are as puppy-like as ever!

I know there are areas I could do better in - finances (although we seem to have rounded the corner on that one), exercise (I need to make time for this!!), meditation/yoga (see above). But, for the most part, life is good.

And I can't ask for much better than that.

Playing Tourist, Part II

We had a wonderful day in Stillwater. It's a nice, easy drive - about 45 minutes from Eden Prairie. We had coffee at The Daily Grind - great lattes and Very Berry Scones. The main part of old town Stillwater is only about 4-5 blocks. We walked up and down the street, visiting the fun stores. We went to a few antique places which were a lot of fun. One can really get lost there, exploring, searching, discovering. I don't collect anything but I certainly could - especially cookbooks.

We had a nice lunch and did more shopping. We went into one store that was going out of business and I found a knee-length brown suede coat in a small. It actually fit, although a little tight with layers on. I couldn't believe I could fit into a small. I ended up not getting it, despite the 40% discount.

Despite the cold, we walked a lot and really had a good time...

For dinner, I made my Crab Cake Salad, which is really good. I use Trader Joe's frozen crab cakes (2 to a package - enough for one serving). I defrost the crab cakes in the fridge and then coat them in a thin coat of panko bread crumbs. I then lightly pan-fry them in olive oil just to give them a bit of a crunch. The salad is dark greens + romaine lettuce with green onions, red or orange bell pepper and sweet corn. I dress the greens with Paul Newman's Lo-Fat Balsamic Vinegar dressing. For the crab cakes, I make a creamy cocktail sauce by mixing cocktail sauce with mayo (maybe a little hot sauce...). I put the dressed greens in a bowl and top it with two cakes and then a dollop of the sauce. Yum!

for those asking about the Chicken Poblano Chowder, it's a Paula Deen recipe from Food TV. I do add a package of frozen corn and then top it with fried tortilla strips and grated cheese. I served it with an "open-faced" quesadilla - a corn tortilla with cheese melted under a broiler for a few minutes. Again, yum! What a great cold-weather dish. Plus, it freezes well.

An editorial note - I don't actually measure the veggies or the chicken. I use what I have in the fridge as far as amounts. I also usually roast 4 big bone-in, skin-on chicken breasts (from Trader Joe's) the day before I make the soup. I take the skin off and de-bone them and then shred the meat, although you could use a rotisserie chicken or baked skinless chicken breasts. I also omit the hot sauce at the end since I use 4 poblano chiles. You can roast them or de-vein them, but I just chop and go. I also add extra garlic, just because I like it. You could add toppings like salsa, green onions, cilantro, sour cream, guacamole, black olives, etc.

It's now time to catch up on Nip/Tuck and veg out for the night.

First Snow of the Season

It's snowing. It wasn't expected until this afternoon, but it started at about 8:30 AM. The forecast was between 1" and 2" an hour with a total of 6" to 10" by tomorrow. It seems like a lot more.

I did run grocery errands this morning to get those out of the way. We're pretty well stocked for the next few days including stuff for Chicken Marsala tonight. The idea was to get everything done before the USC/UCLA kickoff at 3:30. I even got the makings for Hot Buttered Rum for tonight. Yum!

I'm still not in the Holiday Spirit, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy others who are. I just think, for this year, I will take a break. I don't need to pull out the fake tree, the lights, the ornaments, etc. to have a good Christmas. I may cave into cards, but for the most part, I don't need to add to the stress.

We did don snow boots, gloves, hats and the like to play with the dogs in the snow earlier. I don't think that's the last time I have to go out and play today. They are full of beans, which means we may need to take them for a walk, weather not withstanding.

Here's to a warm hearth...

Not Ready To Go Back

I don't know what it is about a 4-day weekend that just kills my motivation for going back to work. I didn't even do anything fun - just kind of putted around the house, did some cleaning, some laundry, a few errands (car wash, Target run). Heck, I didn't even go to the grocery store or Trader Joe's. I figured we had enough food in the house to last us for a few more meals.

I'm late night leader today so at least I don't have to go in until 10:00, but it does mean I have to stay until 7:00 PM. I actually get a lot done between 5 and 7 when everyone is pretty much gone. I have filing to do, a few meetings to prepare for and reviews to read. I don't have a lot going after work this week - just one appointment on Wednesday. I might actually get into the gym on Tuesday and Thursday.

The best part is that I have another 4-day weekend next week when my Dad comes to town. Then it's just a few short weeks until I have the week between Christmas and New Year's off. I don't have any plans for that week - probably just recouping from the holidays. I haven't even decided if I am going to decorate this year. It just seems so pointless. We put up lights, the tree, other assorted decorations for no real reason other than it's habit.

I guess I'm in a bit of a holiday funk. I miss having family around this time of year. With Don's travel schedule, we can't really go any where together and I really don't want to spend the holidays apart from him. I am just not in the holiday spirit this year. Maybe it's because I realized that we have now spent as many years in this house as we did the one in Los Angeles, and it still doesn't feel like home.

Anyway, enough wallowing. I need to finish getting ready for work and head in a little early. I'm not accomplishing anything sitting here waiting for the clock to strike 10...

Oh, So Thankful

What a perfect day. It started when Don was kind enough, despite a bit of a cold, to get up at 6:15 to let the dogs out and feed them. They came back to bed and we slept until 7:30. We spent the next two hours sipping coffee, watching a bit of TV and planning our day.

At a little before 9, we headed out to Staring Lake for a hike with the dogs. It was cold - 28 degrees - and it was flurrying. I put the dogs coats on to keep them dry and warm. Plus, they just look cute. Anyway, it took us a little over an hour do do the 2.5 miles (we let the dogs set the pace) and we were both chilled to the bone. We came home, took a very hot shower to defrost and had some hot apple cider while we read the paper.

I started cooking at around noon. I had made the cranberry sauce on Monday and the stuffing on Wednesday, so I only had to do the green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy while the turkey (with sage butter and a maple glaze) cooked. The meal came out perfect. The entire menu was Maple Glazed Turkey with Sage Butter, Cornbread and Sausage Stuffing, Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Grandma's Green Beans, and Cranberry Orange Sauce. I didn't make the dessert - pumpkin pie from Trader Joe's. I think we both ate reasonably well and didn't overdo it.

I think by making a few dishes early helped with my stress level as was just keeping on top of the dishes as I cooked rather than waiting to do them until the end. Don was a huge help - he did most of the post-dinner clean-up while I relaxed.

Of course, two of the best things that happened was the Cowboys and the Trojans won. The Cowboys win sets up a 10-1 showdown next Thursday against the hot Green Bay Packers. That should be a huge game. The Trojans win means they could share a portion of the Pac-10 title at worst and actually win outright and make a trip to the Rose Bowl if Oregon loses to either UCLA or Oregon State (a huge possibility since Oregon lost their QB). Of course, USC needs to beat UCLA next weekend as well, but after last year's beat down, I think they will be up for it.

Anyway, I am avoiding all shopping today. I just don't believe in Black Friday. We're not in the market for any large electronic items, which is where the biggest savings are and the fact most savings are $5 or less just doesn't make it worth getting up at 3:00 AM. I have dishes to do and I really do need to go through my closet again. I could join the throngs at the gym working off their third serving of pie, but I didn't gain anything, so I think I may just be a homebody and couch potato...

Still Flying High

What a great response from my last post! I am still feeling a high from having the light bulb go off. Even people at work have noticed this new glow about me. I am allowing myself to feel the highs and lows of day-to-day life. If I'm pissed, stressed, giddy, excited, confused I am letting myself vet those emotions out. It's so much better than holding them in.

Work is going crazy. We're going through some staff changes, which makes my job much more complicated as we need to not only plan for next week, but we're starting to plan for early next year. Luckily, my staff is not impacted directly, but we still have to lad through some of the upcoming changes.

Many asked about my new laptop - I chose the most basic MacBook. I had a pretty fancy iBook previously, but it had a lot more bells and whistles than I ever used. I do love my Mac! I haven't played with all the new functions, but the crack staff at the Apple Store was able to move my iTunes and iPhotos over, which was my biggest concern.

Don is off to Green Bay this weekend for the game. He's not leaving until late Saturday night, so it's nice we'll have pretty much the whole day. We have an appointment at the vet for the dogs' yearly shots, and I'm sure we'll take them for a hike, weather permitting. I do need a pedicure, so I'll do that Sunday, plus I'm working out my Thanksgiving menu and what I can buy in advance. I'm sure much to Don's (waist) chagrin, I am planning on making a big batch of my family-famous Chex Mix so I can ship some back to California.

Tomorrow will be an odd day for me - we are testing our Business Continuation Plan in case our office was ever not accessible. I've never been a part of it before, so this will be all new for me. After that, we have our Employee Club's annual Turkey Bingo night. I went for the first time last year and had a blast, even if I didn't win a thing. It's at a local supper club, so we all have dinner first and then play about 2 hours of Bingo. I think I only played 2 cards last year, but I think I might be up to 4 this year. Some people can play 10 cards! I don't think I'm that adept yet, but plan on having a fun time.

It's dinnertime - leftovers - but I made a killer dinner last night. I took 4 (huge - from CostCo) skinless/boneless chicken breasts and stuffed them with cooked couscous with lemon juice, lemon zest, toasted pine nuts/almonds and green onions. They were cooked on the stove top and, once browned on both sides, steamed with a little chicken stock. I served the chicken breasts with a mix of steamed baby carrots and peas. Yum!

Can I tell you I'm so not ready for the cold weather?

My Apologies!

I know I haven't been posting, but I have good reason! My laptop died over the weekend and I ended up having to get a new one. It would have cost $100 less to fix the old one compared to getting a new one, so I opted to upgrade. One of the great things about going through Apple is that they will migrate all your old stuff to the new computer for free, which was great since I hadn't had a chance to back-up my iTunes or iPhotos. They even moved over my favorite bookmarks on the internet!

It's a smaller laptop, and the keyboard is a little different, but I think I can get used to it. I really only use my personal computer for web-surfing, e-mail, blogging and storing my iTunes, so I didn't need anything fancy, although it was tempting to go wild with the new bells and whistles they have, but the price wasn't worth it in the end. I'd rather save my money for a new iPod (hint, hint to those who are reading!).

One of the things I've been thinking about is getting back to my spirituality. I've let that go and relied on old crutches to get me through some tough times, which hasn't had the same results. On this day, October 31, is the Wiccan/Celtic New Year (Samhaim), also known as Halloween. There is a lot out on the Internet to describe the roots of this day, but here is what I have gotten out of it for this year:

We think of the year as a wheel or circle. In every year there is a cycle from light to dark and back to light: of growth, reproduction, dying off, and rebirth again. Any day of the year can be the first day of the rest of your life. And when you come around to the same point a year later, you can see how the intervening cycle of days has changed you, and how you have changed from what you were.

The agricultural implications of Samhain relate to dense matter, or the earthy, physical life/death processes of existence on this plane. But Samhain also has its relationship to our emotional/spiritual well-being, which is usually of greater emphasis to most modern Wiccans. This is a time for ridding ourselves of weaknesses, just as in thinning the herds when the older and weaker animals were slaughtered. Wiccans often bring a parchment to the sacred fire of Samhain on which is written those qualities they consider weaknesses. It is tied with a ribbon of the color of which has a specific meaning for the Witch. During the Samhain ritual the parchment is cast into the flames and the weaknesses burned away, the prayers rising to the Gods with the smoke.

At Samhain we Wiccans assess our spiritual growth. We examine the paths we have tread thus far and look ahead to determine which direction will further our development and unfoldment. This is very personal to each individual Witch, as no two paths, even among Witches, is exactly the same. The ritual generally allows a time of quiet for meditation and contemplation during which we look for direction to the Goddess/God Source and to our own intuitive higher selves.

Since the Veil between the worlds is thin at Samhain, it is also a time when communication between the living and their deceased ancestors becomes possible. This is a private and very emotional part of the Samhain ritual. We can, at this time, say those very important things we neglected to say when our loved ones were still with us. This is a stark lesson to us not to take life for granted, but to truly value those we love. We may re-avow our love to them, and in so doing perhaps ease their passing across the Veil. This is also a time to release any sense of loss, knowing that life is a circle, and that nothing and no one is ever truly lost.

And the Wheel turns, and turns again...

I am looking to this time to see what dead weight I can cut out of my life - internally and externally. What can I do to make myself stronger and better for the upcoming year? I compare it to a rose bush - to make it healthy and have it produce big, strong blooms, you need to prune the bush to the core at times, to make sure you have all the weak and diseased branches gone for the spring (rebirth) flowering. Now is a time for deep introspection and to find what makes one strong and healthy.

This will be a year of seeing things as they ARE not what they WERE. I need a lot of flexibility right now to do my job well, and to adapt to life as a "normal" person. I haven't allowed myself the comfort of just being. I have always tried to be something else - what I thought others wanted me to be.

Now I just AM.

This is me - excited, stressed; happy, sad; up, down; introspective, extroverted; hermit, socialite. I can be all of these, and none of these - all at the same time. I am not going to be your picture of perfection because I am too busy being me - whatever that may be at any time. I can no longer feel like I need to live my life for others - I need to live my life for me.

This is my mantra for moving forward, for a wheel is not a block. It moves continuously, not stopping unencumbered.

I am who I am.

The Joys of Dog & Home Ownership

We have been dealing with a mouse problem here at Casa Seeholzer. We've noticed some mouse poop in a few drawers and behind couches and under the TV, but it really escalated over the last few days. I insisted Don try humane traps, but for some reason, these mice don't go for peanut butter - they like wine corks, rice, insulation and baking mixes. We cleaned out the pantry and drawers on Tuesday, and by Wednesday night there was a fresh round of poo.

In addition, when I went to check the lazy Susan pantry we have, there was a mouse! Ugh! We put the dogs outside while we cleaned out the pantry and drawers. Understand it was 8:30 PM here - dark and wet because of all the rain we've been having. So Don and I were cleaning out the kitchen and discussing a plan of attack on the mice. About 30 minutes later, we had everything cleaned out and went to get the dogs back in. Baja came right away, but Jager just wouldn't come in. She was in a corner of the yard where the deck light doesn't reach so I went out the garage side door to call her in.

Don is getting pissed - we have mice, Baja came in rather muddy and Jager won't come in at all. I'm trying to be the peacemaker and get Jager in through the garage. I am in high heels and know I need to be careful on the wet grass so I step out of the garage carefully, but not carefully enough as I stepped in to a huge hole that Jager had dug! It was about a foot deep and around our in-ground sprinkler housing. So we have mice in the house, a huge hole dug by Jager and, to top it off, she had pulled out some of the sprinkler wires!

We think we have a handle on the mouse situation - Don got some poison which killed at least 4 mice (I helped dispose of the bodies) and two more pellets have been eaten. We have the sprinkler guys coming out to assess the damages and we're hoping it isn't too bad.

Anyway, life otherwise is going along fine. We did an IKEA run for some replacement bookshelves. That place is amazing. I pretty much knew what I wanted but still had to go through the IKEA maze. I can't imagine if Target was laid out in the same way but it works.

Don is in Dallas this weekend for the game and I have a list of To Dos including laundry, cleaning and the like so I plan on hunkering down and watching some football and maybe taking a bath at some point.

A Good Week

I know I haven't been posting as much, or visiting other blogs as regularly, but things seem to be evening out for me. I seem to be dealing with a lot, but I'm finding ways to get through it.

For some reason cooking and baking helps me work through tough times. I made a fresh loaf of bread (Scottish Oat) this afternoon. To my surprise, when I went to slice it, the loaf was G-O-N-E. My only explanation was, while I napped when the bread was cooling, Baja got up on the counter and ate it! I cannot think of anything else. Jager isn't tall enough to do it and there are no "left-overs" to implicate her.

I had great day on Saturday - a bunch of WLS patients gathered in Stillwater for coffee and lunch. We had a great time, and it was nice to meet people from the (Obesity Help) boards.

Don is in Chicago, so I am flying solo today. Off to take a bath and get ready for another crazy week!

Autumn is Here

As much as I love fall, I just know what that means here in the mid-west. I woke up this morning at 6:30 AM (not my choice, but the dogs needed to go out), and it was 45 degrees and, with the wind chill, it was 39. I know this means I can break out the cute sweaters, coats and boots, but it also means I need to stash the cute sandals, short skirts and strappy dresses.

I'm even starting to plan my fall menus - lots of homemade soups and chilies. I'm off work today, and I've started my fall cleaning - I've changed my sheets from cotton to flannel and put on my down duvet. I have some general cleaning tomorrow but it's all about getting ready for gasp the cold. The deck chairs and table will have to come in. The gas grill will have to be covered up. I am so not ready for the pending cold!

Work continues to be my main focus. I did a list of everything I am working on and the weekly time I am dedicating to it all, and I realized I am giving over 70 hours to my job. Granted, that might mean I am on a conference call and working on something else, so that counts as "multi-tasking" but it means that I am producing way more than a 40-hour week. That takes time away from seeing Don, working out, cleaning the house, etc.

Don is off to Detroit tomorrow, but we have enough time to take the kids for a hike and do some more cleaning. I don't have any plans past that, although I might have some guests over for NFL Sunday Football.

I think it may be nap time - I don't get the chance too often, but it sounds like a good idea!

Stormy Thursday Night

Although I worked until 7:00 PM tonight, I thought I would try and actually blog about what the heck is going on in my life. We're in the middle of a big thunder storm and it's knocked out our dish, so we can't watch the Saints-Colts game very well.

First off, work has been really busy. Not in a bad way, per say, but there is going to be a lot of changes which will affect how we do our day-to-day jobs. It will be a major change for my group and I will have to deal with how to manage through this change. In some aspects, it's very exciting as we'll be able to really leverage our analytical skills, but it's going to take some people out of their comfort zone, and I will only be able to hear, "But that's not how we used to do it," a certain number of times.

We had a very nice weekend - the weather was great and we did a lot of outdoor activities. On Saturday, I met up with a few friends for coffee and then 3 of us went to go get a pedicure. This is probably my last fancy one (flowers painted on my big toes) for the season. On Sunday, we took the dogs for a much needed hike and they got to burn off some puppy energy splashing in the lake and barking at squirrels. I then my 2 friends for lunch and a field trip to the zoo. We had so much fun! We went to the dolphin show, took the tram ride which gave us an overview of the majority of the zoo and then walked the other side where there were tropical animals and then native animals. On Monday, Don and I went to the Minnesota State Fair. We went early, so the weather was nice and the crowds weren't too bad. By the time we left, however, it was wall-to-wall people and H-O-T. Since this was our first time, we just kind of wandered around. My favorite part was the birthing barn where we saw piglets, calves, foals, lambs, ducklings and baby rabbits. The main activity seems to be eating, but we did pretty well with our only real treat being the chocolate chip cookies with a big glass of milk. Most people get the bucket o'cookies (about 4 dozen) but I opted for the small serving (a baker's dozen).

Weight-wise, thing are pretty status quo. I tend to say right between 162 - 167, relying mostly on diet since I haven't really had a chance to get back into a proper gym schedule. I'm hoping to change that tomorrow and this weekend. I'm still in a bit of awe how easy this has been for me, and that people actually consider me tiny. I don't always feel it, and I still often see the "fat girl" in the mirror. I am still considering plastic surgery which could remove another 10-15 pounds, but it's still pricey and we just don't have the funds right now. It's hard, because I really want it, but I also have to weigh other factors, like the fact we need to do some things around the house and taxes due in October.

Nothing much on tap for this weekend. I know for sure I want to go shopping with the gift cards I got for my birthday (Macy's, Eddie Bauer, Bloomingdale's and Land's End). On Sunday, I'm looking to have a few work friends over to watch football and actually do some work-related projects.

Off to bed - I have to be up at 5:30 AM tomorrow and need my beauty sleep!

Update

OK, I'm still here...

I am dealing with a lot of work crap, including not being able to read blogs from work - which shouldn't be such a big deal, but by the time I get home, I don't always have the energy to post or read blogs.

It's my birthday today, and it was all good. I heard from my parents, my brother, my BFF and I received cards from my staff and co-workers. Don got me flowers (sunflowers!!) and took me to dinner. Perfect.

I am dealing with a lot of shit from work - not all bad, but it's taking a lot of time and energy.

Anyway, I promise a better post, and more response to your posts soon. Heck, I need to post about my trip to the MN Zoo and the "Great Minnesota Get Together." It was a true Minnesota weekend!