Winter Wonderland

Sorry about the lack of posting, but work had been kicking my ass and the last thing I want to do when I get home is get on the computer.

I worked through Christmas Eve - until 4:00 - and then came home for an eight day vacation. Woo-hoo!

Don and I had a very nice Christmas - we spent most of the day just relaxing in front of the fire and watching VH1's Best Of series (Best Songs of the 90s, Best Songs of the 80s, Best 100 Toys). It was a very low-key Christmas, which is what I needed.

Today, I braved the weather and traffic to hit Mall of America to spend my gift cards. I got a ton of stuff - black jeans, flannel-lined jeans, a sweater. a few blouses, a few books, some new undies (that fit!!), 4 bras, a skirt and a dress. I still have more $$ to spend at Target and Borders, but that will be easy.

We've gotten a bit of snow - the big, heavy white stuff that sticks. Luckily, the sun is out today and that will melt the driveway. It's very pretty out, and I'm glad I don't have to be out too much. I have been, periodically, running a shovel up and down the driveway and the walk so the snow is thinner and will melt as the sun hits them. Of course, my back, legs and arms are sore but it will be worth it if Don doesn't have to shovel again.

I do need to go into work tomorrow for a four hour training. It's a webinar, so I have to be logged on to my computer plus on a phone. Ugh. It's also 11:00 AM - 3:00 PM, so right in the middle of the day.

Off to put away clothes and maybe vacuum. Or sleep - it's still up in the air.

The Joys of Dog & Home Ownership

We have been dealing with a mouse problem here at Casa Seeholzer. We've noticed some mouse poop in a few drawers and behind couches and under the TV, but it really escalated over the last few days. I insisted Don try humane traps, but for some reason, these mice don't go for peanut butter - they like wine corks, rice, insulation and baking mixes. We cleaned out the pantry and drawers on Tuesday, and by Wednesday night there was a fresh round of poo.

In addition, when I went to check the lazy Susan pantry we have, there was a mouse! Ugh! We put the dogs outside while we cleaned out the pantry and drawers. Understand it was 8:30 PM here - dark and wet because of all the rain we've been having. So Don and I were cleaning out the kitchen and discussing a plan of attack on the mice. About 30 minutes later, we had everything cleaned out and went to get the dogs back in. Baja came right away, but Jager just wouldn't come in. She was in a corner of the yard where the deck light doesn't reach so I went out the garage side door to call her in.

Don is getting pissed - we have mice, Baja came in rather muddy and Jager won't come in at all. I'm trying to be the peacemaker and get Jager in through the garage. I am in high heels and know I need to be careful on the wet grass so I step out of the garage carefully, but not carefully enough as I stepped in to a huge hole that Jager had dug! It was about a foot deep and around our in-ground sprinkler housing. So we have mice in the house, a huge hole dug by Jager and, to top it off, she had pulled out some of the sprinkler wires!

We think we have a handle on the mouse situation - Don got some poison which killed at least 4 mice (I helped dispose of the bodies) and two more pellets have been eaten. We have the sprinkler guys coming out to assess the damages and we're hoping it isn't too bad.

Anyway, life otherwise is going along fine. We did an IKEA run for some replacement bookshelves. That place is amazing. I pretty much knew what I wanted but still had to go through the IKEA maze. I can't imagine if Target was laid out in the same way but it works.

Don is in Dallas this weekend for the game and I have a list of To Dos including laundry, cleaning and the like so I plan on hunkering down and watching some football and maybe taking a bath at some point.

Stormy Sunday

The weather is playing a number on us again here in Minneapolis. Last weekend, it was hot and humid, then we hit a high of 56, then it was back into the upper 70s and for the last 2 days it's been cool and rainy. It's supposed to rain off and on (more on than off) today, which is fine by me.

OK, to play a little catch up - last weekend I went to the Renaissance Festival and had a ton of fun. I had my palms read, and she was pretty right on. She told me that my job is secure, but I will be giving up some responsibilities and taking on new ones. She saw some domestic travel for Don and me, and an international cruise within 2 years. I saw her last year, and she said the same thing this year - I should be using my creativity to earn a living, and I should spend more time writing and practicing my photography. Besides that, my friend talked me into buying a full-on Ren Fest outfit - tiered skirt, flouncy blouse and a corset.

The last week I did a "back to basic" WLS diet where I really focused on the protein and the rules of the pouch (no drinking 30 minutes prior or after a meal, 15 minutes to eat, etc.). I lost 5.5 pounds and feel better - I am able to better identify head hunger vs. real hunger and I know when to stop eating. Once you're 2 years post-op, it's easy to slide back into bad habits - snacking, grazing, stress eating, etc.

We're doing some upgrades at Casa Seeholzer this week - we're finally upgrading to a HD dish on Tuesday. And on Saturday, we're getting new carpet for the downstairs (den, living room, dining room). That will be a bit of a pain because, although they will move the furniture, we have to store all the knick-knacks and empty the china hutch. I started on that this morning, but there is still a lot to do. Last weekend we cleared off the one big bookshelf in the den since that's about to fall over. We'll have to get a replacement (IKEA, anyone?), but it was about time. Our carpet is a very light cream, which is not a good choice with 2 dogs and Minnesota winters (and springs and falls!). We're getting a honey-colored carpet in the den and a subtle multi-colored carpet in the living/dining room. I think it will look great, and it will be so much easier to keep looking clean. We opted not to do the upstairs at this time since the only room we really use is the bedroom, and it didn't make sense to re-carpet 4 bedrooms, the hall and the stairway.

On top of all that, we're trading in our current Honda CRV for a new CRV this week. Our lease is up, and we just love our Hondas. Don picked a pretty dark blue, and I can't wait to see it! I am enjoying my Civic, but I know once the snow comes, I will be driving the CRV to work.

Work is really busy, and there doesn't look like there will be any break until next year, so I have to keep my nose to the grindstone. I have 2 huge projects on my plate, both of which will change how we do business. It's exciting, but daunting at the same time. My boss has hinted at some pretty major changes for me, but I'm feeling up to the challenge. I'm glad to be a part of something so big and so new. It won't be easy, and I know there will be some pretty stressful moments but the overall payoff is going to be huge.

I really am going to try and get better about updating and checking in on everyone. It's been hard with 10-hour workdays, but I need to make time for this.

The Arrival of Spring & Allergies

Spring is officially here in all her glory with longer days, crisp mornings, chirping birds, bunnies in the front yard, blooming trees, scratchy eyes and sore throats! I woke up this morning with bleary eyes and a head so stuffed it feels like I ate every cotton ball in the house.

I ended up calling in sick since I didn't get a lick of sleep and I still can't breathe. I really didn't want to take a sick day since I am planning on taking next Friday off, but I'd be SFB today, plus I don't know if I have anything to wear that wouldn't clash with the red in my eyes.

I have my 18-month follow up with the bariatric clinic at 3:30 this afternoon. I'll meet with my nurse and have my blood work drawn. The only thing I have going on physically are some ulcers that I will need scoped to see their severity and figure out if I need something other than Prilosec.

I am pretty pleased with my progress. I have been able to maintain weight for the past few months - keeping it between 163 and 167 without too much work. I think my surgeon will be happy with where I am, especially since I'm below his goal of 185. I think I'm working the tool well. I have some emotional issues to deal with, but those have always been there, just hidden away.

It's supposed to be nice this weekend with some chance of early evening thunderstorms. Typical Minnesota spring. Just as long as the days are nice so we can do some hikes with the dogs and spend some time on the deck. I just love being outside this time of year, allergies notwithstanding.

Since I'm home, I guess I can be helpful around the house - laundry, dishes and the like. And a nap. Definitely a nap.

Where Is Spring?

I am going to gripe about the weather - again! It's mid-April and we have 2 inches of snow on the ground. WTF? Where do I live? Hell frozen over? I am so ready for spring, sunny skies, warm breezes, grass between my toes, colors other than brown and grey, sleeping with open windows, a tan. We're supposed to get a warming trend starting this weekend and the 10-day forecast has some low-60s and mostly sunny skies. All I have to say is that it's about freakin' time.

Everything else seems to be going along smoothly. Don and I got our financing stuff approved, so we're just waiting for the final paperwork to come through. That will be a relief once that is completed. This will help with some big things coming up like lovely property taxes and car leases expiring. Speaking of which, we have two Hondas - a 2-door Civic and a CRV. We were thinking of upgrading to a 4-door Civic and another CRV. Our previous cars were a Civic and an Accord, so we've been driving Hondas for the last several years and haven't had a lick of trouble with them. I had a Toyota Camry prior to the Accord and had so many issues with the car and with Toyota in general. Any thoughts on cars we should consider? My commute is currently 20 miles one way, so I like the idea of a small-ish sedan, but I really want a 4-door. We also like having a small SUV in case of really bad snow as well as our yearly drive to California with the dogs.

And while we're on the topic of reader recommendations, Bath & Body Works has discontinued their line of face cleansers, lotions and scrubs I was using and now I need to find something else. Gah! I currently use a face wash for oily skin and an exfoliating scrub in the shower. I then use an astringent from Clinique followed by a fine-line or anti-aging serum and a moisturizer for oily skin. Any thoughts on a good line of facial products? I certainly don't need anything like La Mer (please, $100 an ounce?), but I am almost 40 so I do need to take care of my poor skin.

The depression doesn't seem as crushing as before. I still have my moments, but I feel like I can at least see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak (I'm pretty confident it's not an oncoming train, either). The meds certainly seem to be working and I haven't had a panic attack since I started carrying the Ativan. I still haven't gotten into a good sleep pattern and I don't want to add a Tylenol PM on top of the anti-depressant. I may look at switching the meds to the AM to see if that helps my sleep at all.

No big plans on tap for the weekend. Now that we've let our cleaners go, I know part of the weekend will be spent doing some cleaning around the house. It's also the last Saturday our office is open for Tax Season, so I will probably come in for a few hours in support. We have a few supply drawers that are in serious need of cleaning. I mean, we have more 3-ring binders than a Staples store. It's amazing how certain areas just become dumping grounds for unwanted supplies. Of course, no one can find anything so we end up ordering more of something we already have a boatload of. I mean, how many thumbtacks or boxes of staples does our department of 20 really need?

A hike or two with the dogs is in order. They have been cooped up since last weekend because of the weather, and I'm sure they're driving poor Don nuts while he works from home. They want out, they want in, they want back out. We should teach them how to open and close the door! I also need to get into the gym both days for some strength training - upper body on Saturday, lower body on Sunday. If I'm really on the ball, I might even make the water aerobics class on Saturday morning (at 8:15 AM!!!) before coming into work.

Other than that, I'd like to get some reading in and I have several TiVO'd shows I need to catch up on before I run out of disk space.

What I really need is about 6 more hours in the day!

Trying To Keep It Together

Sorry for the lack of posts, but life & work is kicking my butt right now, and I'm just trying to keep my head above water.

First the good news - my eating and weight seem to have stabilized. The more I see my weight staying the same, the less I am stressed about eating the right foods. I'm getting pretty consistent about eating 3 meals and 2 snacks. I am getting 80+ ounces of water in per day. I am doing pretty good at getting 2-3 servings of fruit and veggies in every day. I've expanded my foods to include things like sesame-encrusted tuna steaks, cornbread stuffed pork loin with dried cherry sauce, blue cheese grilled ribeye, Asian glazed salmon. Tonight, I'm making one of my signature dishes - spinach, mushroom, blue cheese stuffed chicken breasts with mushroom risotto and steamed broccoli. Yum. I think one of the keys for me is variety - not just with ingredients but with tastes and texture as well. I am holding steady at between 164 and 167 and I am comfortable with that. One of the big wins is that I am weighing 2-3 times a week instead of every day.

Work is really hopping now. I have a lot of projects going on, a lot of deadlines, emergencies popping up left and right. As my personal life spirals out of control, I am finding it harder and harder to keep my head in the game at work. Next week will be a bit of a break as I will be getting certified in teaching a customer service class which will be a huge initiative for our group in 2007. It's a pretty big thing, since I'm not in the training department and it will mean a week away from my own job, but it's a growth opportunity for me, and I'm pretty excited about it.

On the personal front, I am still coming to grips with the depression and anxiety hovering over me like my own personal black cloud. I found one of the key root causes - the huge amount of debt we're facing. I have been juggling bills monthly, and it's starting to collapse to the point where we need to make some decisions about what is and is not important - gym memberships, pedicures/manicures, hair appointments, lawn care, house cleaners. One of the big revenue generators will be downsizing, but that's not something that will be accomplished overnight. Plus, you need to spend money to get the house ready, keep the house clean, etc. The worrying about money is causing some tough emotional issues for me as well as how they manifest physically - tension, stomach problems, general feeling of malaise. Now that it's out in the open between me and Don, it will be easier to work out some solutions. The good news is that we're getting money back from our taxes - not a lot - but enough to help out some.

Anyway, therapy and having Don as my rock is helping. Also, the two dogs keep me very engaged when I'm at home. I mean, they don't understand depression and how can one remain depressed when one has puppy kisses and tail wags?

Off to work on dinner. It's pretty easy, but it takes a lot of prep work with dicing, stuffing and breading. The end result is mighty tasty, though.

Almost Friday!

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted! Where has the time gone? And it's almost March??

The hot stone massages were wonderful. If you haven't tried one, you have no idea what you're missing. Both Don and I were super relaxed for the rest of the weekend. We had an amazing dinner at Babalu in downtown Minneapolis. We both loved our dishes - I had a stuffed chicken breast with serrano ham and brie cheese with sweet corn mashed potatoes and he had a double-cut pork chop with sweet potato hash and a maple-chipotle glaze. The desserts were great as well. We usually split one, but two sounded really good - a trio dessert tamales which were stuffed with vanilla creme, chocolate mousse and a berry creme and I had a take off on key lime pie which was a layer of key lime creme and then a layer of graham cracker repeated 6 times. Yum. We weren't there late enough for salsa dancing, but next time we will be!

Don is off in Indy this week through Sunday for the NFL Rookie Combine where potential players strut their stuff for NFL teams. It's not very exciting, but part of the job, so I am flying solo for the rest of the week and the weekend. I have a charity auction/cocktail party to attend on Saturday to support two women I work with, so that will be fun. I think I am going to take some of my bonus from last week and go play at Mall of America. I am in sore need of some spring/summer clothes and I hope to catch a few end of the season sales since I am still without a proper winter jacket now that I have shrunk out of the one I had.

It's supposed to be an icky weekend weather-wise. After nearly a week at above freezing temps (we even got into the 40s a few days), most of the snow is gone save a few icy patches and some large snow drifts. I just tried to spread out some of the drifts along the edge of the driveway so when we supposedly get snow on Sunday it will be easier to shovel. Let me just add, shoveling in cowboys boots with no sole grip is not recommended. Also, letting your dogs out in the (muddy) backyard with the sliding glass door open while you are out front shoveling is not the best way to keep your cream carpets clean.

Foods are going well - I think part of that is I am finding my weight is stabilized as long as I eat on plan. I weighed myself on Monday and today (yes, I'm trying not to weigh every day) and I was the same weight. I'm still not eating as much as I should but I am keeping focused on protein and veggies/fruit. I made a kick ass Asian glazed pork loin with a warm broccoli slaw last night. I think as long as I keep my taste buds engaged with flavors, I am more apt to eat.

Yoga class kicked my butt on Monday. We added new positions, many of which I couldn't do fully. There was one where you start with standing with your feet in a wide stance. You put your hands on the floor, aligning your elbows with your knees. I was fine with that. And then the instructor said, "OK, now hook your knees on your elbows and lift your feet." Yeah, right. My legs feel like I did a heavy weight routine. It's all good, and challenging but I guess I never really thought yoga could be this physically demanding. We're working toward some headstand poses, so that should be interesting.

I will be working shorter hours tomorrow so I can get home to the dogs. They are full of beans with this weather, and if I get home before the freezing sleet I can try and take them for a walk. Otherwise, we may just play fetch and chase in the backyard.

Off to catch up on some of my blog reading!

First Baby Step Taken

I had my first appointment with a psychologist from The Emily Program, a center that specializes in eating disorders. Although they typically deal with anorexics and bulimics, because my behavior surrounding food has a little bit of everything compounded by surgery, they feel that I am a good candidate to qualify for their assistance. The first few appointments are all about getting history and determining the levels of disorder, depression, anxiety, etc. My next appointment is next Friday.

I did have a bit of an episode on Sunday night at dinner. I had spent two days preparing for a wonderful meal. I got out the good china, had a great table setting, uncorked a really good wine (Stag's Leap cab) and cooked an amazing meal. I got through the salad course fine, but as soon as I sat down when all the courses were out and I put food on my plate, I had a sudden panic attack. There was too much food; I had eaten too much because I was tasting throughout the day; I couldn't eat; I shouldn't eat. I mean, I panicked, had to leave the table and even had to partially undress because I was breaking out in a cold sweat. After I calmed down, I tried to go back to the table, but it was a no-go. The funny thing is that I had pretty much the same stuff last night and got through it fine.

I realize this seems crazy to most. Hell, it sounds crazy to me, and I'm living it. Right now, I'm trying not to judge myself and just work through the issues. I hate how I know what I'm supposed to do and pissed at myself that I can't do it.

In the meantime, I have started my vacation week. So much of the weekend was spent around getting to Christmas and then celebrating it that I didn't do anything around the house. I've started that today, beginning by finally filing some new CDs, some of which have been piled up for a year. I've laundered all my table linens, ironed the cloth napkins, organized most of the china hutch, culled some ceramic/glass bakeware and have begun the daunting task of going through my stemware. Holy crap - how many wine/martini/beer/margarita/champagne glasses do two people need? I mean, even if I hosted glamorous dinner parties (which I don't), I wouldn't need half that stemware I own. Part of the problem is the number of commemorative glasses we have. There are four Super Bowl champagne flutes, 4 Dick's Last Resort beer steins, beer glasses from the Baja Cantina/El Cholo/Firestone Brewery, a hurricane glass from Pat O'Brien's. Not only that, I have an additional 14 champagne flutes (3 different kinds), 8 martini glasses (3 different kinds), 8 beer steins (not including the commemorative ones), 4 brandy snifters in 2 sizes and 22 wine glasses in 5 different styles. What am I doing, running a bar?

Needless to say, I am busy trying to figure out what ones to donate, what ones to store in the basement and what ones to keep within reach. I was also going through vases, decanters and crystal bowls that I stored in the china hutch in hopes of getting rid of a few more items. I have a beautiful Tiffany decanter that has never been used in 7+ years, but I just can't part with it. The vases are from Waterford and Nambe and have also never been used. I hope the rest of the planned de-cluttering goes a little smoother.

There is already a fairly good-sized pile of things I know I am donating - table linens, glass bakeware, coffee mugs, picnic plates, etc. In other words, things I haven't used, in some cases, since I lived in New York (circa 1995). These items have moved from Los Angeles to New York (2 apartments) back to Los Angeles (3 apartments, 1 house), to Minnesota (1 house). The eye-opening moment for me on de-cluttering was when I came across a hard brick of dark brown sugar in my pantry in a plain wrap Ralph's label. I could date this back to at least 2003 since the last baking jag I went on in Los Angeles would have been Christmas, 2003 and we moved in October, 2004. So, yes, a package of brown sugar moved from Los Angeles to Minnesota and I still had it, 3 years later.

Besides doing some de-cluttering and organizing, my main project is getting some framed photos hung and order some photos so I can finish some photo collages. I also need to take my car in for servicing, which is massively overdue for a check-in. This is in addition to mounds of laundry, winter cleaning (delayed from the traditional spring cleaning), vet visits (Jager has a partially torn ACL which we are treating with experimental, 2x week shots for 4 weeks to, hopefully, avoid surgery), finishing 3 in-progress books. Oh, and, yeah, spending of some of the many gift cards we received for Christmas!!

It looks like a busy week, but I know I need to check in here often for my own benefit, so look for some more frequent postings.