Snowbound

We got about 8 inches of snow overnight. It started with icy bits they call scrapple and it morphed into snow late afternoon. I did decide to go to Mall of America for Macy's big sale. I got a ton of stuff for just over $100.00 - a raincoat, 2 skirts, 3 sweaters, a pair of dress slacks and a dress shirt. I actually had a few other items - a black denim jacket with a skull and crossbones bedazzled on the back, a basic black sheath and matching blazer and a pair of Lucky Brand jeans, but decided against them, although now I'm kind of regretting the jacket decision.

Shopping remains a bit of a chore for me. Although I can pretty much shop at any store, I just get so overwhelmed with all the decisions. It's weird knowing I can buy cute clothes rather than just anything that fits. I am confused about sizes as well. I have to try everything on because sizes vary even within the same brand because of cut or material. I thought I was a pretty solid 12 in slacks, but actually fit into size 10. The funny thing is that I still have a pair of size 14W jeans, and those seem to fit fine.

I ended up not going to the charity event last night. I started running a fever around 4:00 PM, and did try to take a shower to see if that helped, which it didn't. Jen was pretty forgiving about me flaking, but, in hindsight, probably a good decision. I don't know if I would have been able to make it up the driveway any time after about 8:00.

Don is supposed to be heading home today. His flight is already delayed an hour, so he should arrive around 5:15, but I won't feel confident he'll get here tonight until I see the flight has taken off. What's worse, he had to park on the roof so his car is buried. We did talk about him taking a cab, and now I wished he had gone that route.

Of course, with 8 inches on the ground and 3-5 more expected, the driveway needed to be cleared so Don could get the car in (yet another reason to have taken a cab!!). I started to shovel, but we have a pretty bid driveway and that wasn't really working, so Don walked me through starting the snowblower. After a few false starts, I actually got it running and was able to do Don's side. I started to do my side, but it just got to be too much so we have a half-assed plowed driveway. I didn't even attempt to do the sidewalk. That will just have to wait until Don gets home. Of course, if he's delayed I will have to figure out how to get my car down the driveway.

So, I am housebound for the rest of the day. The dogs are in a mellow mood - good thing, too. They'll get their frisky mood on around 3:00 or so. I've done two loads of laundry. I did make Chicken Poblano Chowder (from Paula Deen, with a few modifications) last night since soup always tastes better the second day. That will be dinner and a good warm up for Don, especially if he has to do the other part of the drive.

In the meantime, I am dealing with some mild anxiety & depression, I think. The last few days have been really hard, and part of the reason is Don's away but I'm not sure what else it is. Even something as simple as organizing my sock drawer or going through catalogs is overwhelming to me. I'm dealing with it in an unhealthy way - withdrawing, drinking and generally letting everything go to pot because I just can't get started on anything. I just want to curl up and make the world go away. In the last few days, I get the sweats and shakes for no reason, and last night I burst into tears. I hate feeling this way. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow so I'm sure we'll be discussing this. I really need to get a handle on things before it starts affecting my life.

To be honest, I don't know if this has anything to do with WLS. I'm still not eating like I should, especially the last few days since Don's been gone. I have cooked up a storm, but haven't eaten any of it. I did just have lunch but I hardly ate anything yesterday or Friday, and I know I'm not getting all of my water in. I wish I enjoyed food more, but it's just not happening for me.

Off to finish the laundry and I might tackle the sock drawer...

Almost Friday!

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted! Where has the time gone? And it's almost March??

The hot stone massages were wonderful. If you haven't tried one, you have no idea what you're missing. Both Don and I were super relaxed for the rest of the weekend. We had an amazing dinner at Babalu in downtown Minneapolis. We both loved our dishes - I had a stuffed chicken breast with serrano ham and brie cheese with sweet corn mashed potatoes and he had a double-cut pork chop with sweet potato hash and a maple-chipotle glaze. The desserts were great as well. We usually split one, but two sounded really good - a trio dessert tamales which were stuffed with vanilla creme, chocolate mousse and a berry creme and I had a take off on key lime pie which was a layer of key lime creme and then a layer of graham cracker repeated 6 times. Yum. We weren't there late enough for salsa dancing, but next time we will be!

Don is off in Indy this week through Sunday for the NFL Rookie Combine where potential players strut their stuff for NFL teams. It's not very exciting, but part of the job, so I am flying solo for the rest of the week and the weekend. I have a charity auction/cocktail party to attend on Saturday to support two women I work with, so that will be fun. I think I am going to take some of my bonus from last week and go play at Mall of America. I am in sore need of some spring/summer clothes and I hope to catch a few end of the season sales since I am still without a proper winter jacket now that I have shrunk out of the one I had.

It's supposed to be an icky weekend weather-wise. After nearly a week at above freezing temps (we even got into the 40s a few days), most of the snow is gone save a few icy patches and some large snow drifts. I just tried to spread out some of the drifts along the edge of the driveway so when we supposedly get snow on Sunday it will be easier to shovel. Let me just add, shoveling in cowboys boots with no sole grip is not recommended. Also, letting your dogs out in the (muddy) backyard with the sliding glass door open while you are out front shoveling is not the best way to keep your cream carpets clean.

Foods are going well - I think part of that is I am finding my weight is stabilized as long as I eat on plan. I weighed myself on Monday and today (yes, I'm trying not to weigh every day) and I was the same weight. I'm still not eating as much as I should but I am keeping focused on protein and veggies/fruit. I made a kick ass Asian glazed pork loin with a warm broccoli slaw last night. I think as long as I keep my taste buds engaged with flavors, I am more apt to eat.

Yoga class kicked my butt on Monday. We added new positions, many of which I couldn't do fully. There was one where you start with standing with your feet in a wide stance. You put your hands on the floor, aligning your elbows with your knees. I was fine with that. And then the instructor said, "OK, now hook your knees on your elbows and lift your feet." Yeah, right. My legs feel like I did a heavy weight routine. It's all good, and challenging but I guess I never really thought yoga could be this physically demanding. We're working toward some headstand poses, so that should be interesting.

I will be working shorter hours tomorrow so I can get home to the dogs. They are full of beans with this weather, and if I get home before the freezing sleet I can try and take them for a walk. Otherwise, we may just play fetch and chase in the backyard.

Off to catch up on some of my blog reading!

Weekend Forecast

I am so glad it's Friday. It's been a busy week and next week will be just as busy, only Don won't be here from Wednesday on since he'll be in Indy for work. I really need a few days off to restock, reload and plan. I have been flying by the seat of my pants all week, and, with this silly head cold, I feel like I'm a bit out of control.

In fact, since I haven't been able to get to the gym or even look at my treadmill, and I've been eating, I haven't gotten on the scale since Tuesday. I mean, in a way that's good, but I am so afraid of what the number is going to be once I do hop on (maybe on Sunday). This is the longest I've gone without weighing since surgery. My clothes are still fitting so it can't be that bad, but I am starting to feel guilty about not exercising.

The good news is that I am planning on doing at least an hour of interval training at the gym tomorrow morning before coffee. If I really hit the ground running, I may even do a bit of light weights, just to get back into the swing of things. After coffee, it will be trips to Trader Joe's, CostCo, maybe the car wash and the grocery store so I don't have to worry about anything after we get our 80-minute hot stone massage.

We're trying a new restaurant tomorrow night -
Babalu. It's Latin-Caribbean and they have jazz and salsa dancing. Anyway, it should be a lot of fun. I love trying new places, and there are so many great spots in the Twin Cities.

Sunday will be all about getting some meals prepared so I don't have to worry too much during the week. I have after work appointments Monday & Tuesday. There is a support group meeting on Wednesday, but with Don out of town, I'll probably skip it. Next weekend, I have a benefit dinner to go to with a silent and live auction. I'm taking my friend Jen so I know it will be a hoot. There will be some people from work as well. It should be fun and keep me out of trouble.

Of course, the following weekend brings another trip - part personal, part business - to Las Vegas. I have a conference starting on 3/4 so I will go in a few days early to see my brother. My best friend from California will be joining me along with her boyfriend for the weekend, so that will be a lot of fun. The conference runs through Wednesday and I'm still deciding if I want to take that Thursday & Friday off just for some down time.

Anyway, off to a bunch of meetings for the day, including a 2-hour one. I'd love to sneak out a little early but I don't think I can get out before 3:30, even if I was in before 7:00 AM!

I'm Baaaack!

Sorry for the lack of updates - we had a wonderful time in California, but I came back with a pretty bad cold and have been battling that ever since our return...

We got in to Los Angeles with plenty of time to stop at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants, Paco's Tacos. Paco's was across the street from our house, and was a frequent haunt of ours, and probably responsible for at least 50 of my 170 excess pounds. I got to taste real Mexican food, not the stuff they pass off as "Mexican" here in the great white north (pickles on tacos?? Seriously??). I was pretty stuffed when I left and was feeling a little guilty about that, but realized I was stuffed on one taco and some rice and beans - not the taco, enchilada, full orders of rice and beans plus chips, salsa and guacamole.

We then headed for my nutritionist's office. As luck would have it, my chiropractor was still there so I got a bonus adjustment. My meeting with Phil went well. First off, his scale actually agreed with mine, so I felt pretty good about that. There is nothing worse thinking your scale is right, only to get into a doctor's office and have it weigh you at 5 pounds more. He ran my cholesterol, and it was actually better than his!! I continue to have great numbers in that department, which is a huge change from before surgery when I was borderline diabetic. He measured my body fat, which came in higher than what the gym had said, but he does a more accurate measurement, so it's actually 23% instead of 21%, but still great.

Phil gave me a food plan I could live with. His big thing is "thumbprinting" a meal, meaning even if I'm not hungry, I need to sit down with some food and take just a few bites to get my mind into a routine where it comes to expect a meal, even if I'm not hungry. We also discussed exercise and he has agreed to let me go back to lifting weights if I do it with a trainer and focus more on core exercises rather than power lifting (I'm not getting in enough calories to repair any muscle damage that may happen with heavy lifting). I'll continue to do yoga twice a week and get 4-5 days of cardio in as well. Of course, with everything going on this week, I haven't been able to stick to the exercise plan, but I'm doing OK with the foods despite being sick. We agreed that maintaining my current weight would be fine for now, and if it goes down with the exercise and food plan so be it. I just want to be able to stay one weight for awhile so I can consult with a plastic surgeon soon.

We had a great time seeing Dad & Dean and Mom & Deb. Don and I took a long walk on the beach Friday - I even got my feet wet in the Pacific (probably why I now have a cold!). The weather was beautiful - mid-60s, mostly sunny, nice breeze. It was a really nice visit. It went by quickly, and I wish we had more time, but we'll be back in July for 2 weeks.

Having a cold really sucks. At least I don't have a sore throat anymore - some fresh ginger, lemon juice, cinnamon, honey and cayenne steeped in hot water seemed to do the trick for that. The cold has settled in my head and chest, and I still sound like Kathleen Turner after a pack of cigarettes, but I'm not coughing and my nose isn't too drippy.

Don and I are going out to dinner for Valentine's Day tonight. We agreed on no gifts and opted for a couples' hot stone massage on Saturday. That should feel great! We're also celebrating my raise and bonus, which were pretty generous. I still have to decide what I want to do with my bonus - pay off a credit card, get new carpet and paint or stock away in a savings account for possible plastic surgery. The smart thing would be to pay off a credit card but Don is insisting that I do something for me. We'll see....

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

We have just gotten through a string of days where the highs didn't get above zero. In fact, on Monday morning on my drive into work, the temp was -18 with it feeling like -40 with the wind chill. To put that in perspective, your freezer should be 0 or below. So if you want to feel what we're feeling here, clear out your freezer, get in it with a fan on high and enjoy. You know it's bad when the warnings are you cannot be outside for more than 10 minutes before suffering from frostbite.

I am feeling better since my last post, and I'm trying to get more fiber in to help things, um, keep moving along. I am trying not to weigh myself until Thursday morning so I have an idea when I meet with my nutritionist once I get to Los Angeles. Granted, the plan will have me weighing in with him after Don and I stop at Paco's Tacos for lunch, but I can live with that. I mean, how much weight can I gain from a half taco and some beans?

With the cold, I buckled and bought the dogs jackets just because I was worried about their well-being on their (short) ventures outside this weekend. They're actually pretty cute - a shearling jacket for Jager and a fleece for Baja. Where they really feel the cold is in their paws.

We're off to the warmth of Los Angeles & Santa Barbara this weekend, although to hear my mother tell it, it's freezing there. Ha! It's 65 and I know they are expecting rain, but I will take that over sub-zero temps and snow.

I could use a break from work. I worked on Saturday since we are getting into tax season. It's just so busy and I'm feeling pulled in so many directions. I just hope this hard work will pay off in some completed projects soon so I can experience some success.

The weight and food still are issues. I don't want to eat, and I continue to lose weight, down to 164 this week which is below my threshold of 167. I think part of it is that I will be seeing my parents, and in some cases friends, at my lowest weight since college (freshman year, at that). I felt like a failure then, and I am having a hard time feeling like a success now since the only difference is 20 years.

Anyway, not sure if I will get to post from the road but I hope to update at least once!