The Ongoing Adventures of Naked Girl

The story of my quest to look good naked -- really good.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

In Lieu of a Real Post

If I were a month I would be: September
If I were a day of the week I would be: Sunday
If I were a time of day I would be: Day break
If I were a planet I would be: Venus
If I were a sea animal I would be: Dolphin
If I were a direction I would be: West
If I were a country I would be: Ireland
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: A bookshelf
If I were a sin I would be: Gluttony
If I were a historical figure I would be: Da Vinci
If I were a liquid I would be: An expensive Cabernet
If I were a tree I would be: Oak
If I were a flower/plant I would be: A French tulip
If I were a kind of weather I would be: Sunny with a nice breeze
If I were a musical instrument I would be: Saxophone
If I were an animal I would be: A wolf
If I were a color I would be: Dark blue
If I were a gemstone I would be: A sapphire
If I were a vegetable I would be: An artichoke
If I were a sound I would be: Om
If I were an element I would be: Krypton
If I were a car I would be: Jaguar
If I were a song I would be: “Express Yourself” by Madonna
If I were a state I would be: California
If I were a movie I would be directed by: M. Night Shyamalan
If I were a book I would be written by: Janet Evanovich
If I were a food I would be: A steak (rare, of course)
If I were a place I would be: A bookstore
If I were a material I would be: Denim
If I were a taste I would be: Salty
If I were a scent I would be: Gardenia
If I were a word I would be: Strength
If I were a fruit I would be: Raspberry
If I were an object I would be: Camera
If I were a body part I would be: Eyes
If I were a facial expression I would be: Concerned
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Lisa Simpson
If I were a shape I would be: A sun
If I were a number I would be: 14
If I were a tattoo I would be: Celtic cross

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    Granted, that's partly because you have generally very little closeness or intimacy between two paid performers, along with the nature of an sizegenetics film set -- weird lighting, multiple cameras pointing at you, creepy directors barking orders, etc. -- seriously is not a very conducive to complete, uninhibited pleasure. With that said, if massive penises were truly magical pleasure rods that could make any woman thrash uncontrollably with little effort, it stands to reason that your chosen female stars in sizegenetics films wouldn't require try so hard to appear like they were enjoying the experience.
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