Under Construction

I have a fix for my blog, but it won't be in place until 3/10, so bear with me....

As an update, life is throwing me under the bus - broken ribs (long story) and work. My boss left for his new job outside the company 2 weeks ago and a lot of his responsibility fell to me. I am working longer hours - up to 12 hours a day plus weekends. I am up every morning around 3 AM with my mind on hyper-speed. What did I miss? How can I solve for this? What amazing solutions do I have? How am I going to lead my team through this change?

I need a day off - and not just a weekend where I am running around doing house upkeep to basic clean-up and errands. My mind is a whirlwind and I pulling my hair out! If it wasn't for my brother, I would have missed my dad's 17th anniversary with Dean. I am so self-absorbed with just getting through my own day, I forget everything else.

Granted, once they hire a new Director to insulate me, it will be better, but there is the option of me moving into that role, which only muddles the picture. Part of me wants the challenge of being the Director, Workforce Planning & Analytics - fewer direct reports; I can delegate a lot of what I am doing to the new me. But, I would be in a more vital role and have a lot more to answer for.

I am at a crossroads in my life. There will be trade-offs, and I don't know if I'm willing to make those right now. Part of me just wants to be the player behind the scene, but a bigger part of me wants to be a player - despite what that would mean to me work-life balance. Do I want a higher stressed job that may take me away from my family? Do I want to "train" a new director when I know I could do his/her job better - even at the cost of my own happiness?

I don't like feeling like I need to work 10+ hours per day and then going home to drink myself silly to cope. I can't eat - with the surgery - so my stress ends up being a reason to drink. I just want to be normal.
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