The Ongoing Adventures of Naked Girl

The story of my quest to look good naked -- really good.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Is It December?

The first smack in the head was on October 31 - when most are dressing up in scary costumes and begging for candy - that the mall in Ridgedale, specifically Macy's, already had their Christmas tree and trimmings up - IN OCTOBER. Today, in several stores, they were playing Christmas carols - IN NOVEMBER. On top of that, in front of the grocery store this afternoon, there was the iconic Salvation Army bell ringer - THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING. I've also gotten e-mails that my local mall is opening at 1:00 AM on Friday. Retailers - desperate much?

Even around the neighborhood, lights are not only going up (typical in these cold climes - who wants to hang Christmas lights when it's icy out?) but coming on! Yes, I have my wreath out and my pumpkins are still on the front porch...

I remember when Christmas wasn't even visible until after Turkey Day. I don't even think we had a "Black Friday" when I was growing up. We usually put our Christmas decorations up 2 weeks before Christmas and took them down one week after New Year's. Now I'm hearing about families decorating their (fake) tree over Thanksgiving weekend.

So my new mantra is "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." — Carl Bard. It's very fitting for me at this point, as I've come to realize that spending energy trying to change my past is doing nothing to progress my future. I'm getting so stuck in what I was I neglect what I'm becoming. To that end, I did my own Rune reading a few weeks ago. I've been reading Runes for a few years - mostly for my own entertainment. Runes are like a primitive Tarot that the Vikings used as an oracle. Each stone was marked with a symbol that could be used to write, read the past or predict the future. The nice thing about reading Runes is that there is really only two ways to see it - upright and reversed (upside down). With Tarot, there are symbols, colors, pictures to interpret. It's much more complex, although some might say more accurate.

Anyway, I drew a Runic Cross of 6 Runes plus one for Resolution. The six that make up the cross are:

1. Past - from where I am coming; what lies behind
2. Me Now
3. Future - what lies ahead; what's coming into my life
4. Foundation - unconscious elements
5. Challenge - obstacles in the way
6. New Situation - success in meeting the challenge
and then
7. Resolution - essence of the situation

1. Past - The Blank Rune
Rune of the unknowable, the Divine
This is my past
The end is just the beginning
Connection to my destiny; rises like a Phoenix; Fate
Death is symbolic
Relinquish control - I am a Spiritual Warrior
This is potential
Total being - what is to become
There are Deep Fears - failure, abandonment, taken away
There is willingness
Leaping into the void
The past tests the faith
This is the Rune of Karma
Lessons are learned for a life time
I must shift and evolve
There is progression

2. Me Now - Rune of Disruption and Power
There is change, freedom and liberation
I must break free of identification
It's beyond my control
There is a great awakening/coming to my senses
I need to rip away the fabric of my former reality - sacrifice security and beliefs
There is disruption
But there is growth

3. Future - Rune of New Beginnings and Fertility
Intuitive part of my nature
There is harmonizing and adjusting to personal relationships
There is a need to share and to be desired
There is new life and new paths
Strength to achieve completion
Resolution
Emergence from a closed state
Clear away the old
Release from tension
Free myself from a rut, habit, relationship, behavior pattern
Movement may involve danger (change) but also remove me from danger
Need to be centered and grounded
Open to the will of Heaven
Ultimate calm certainty

4. Foundation - Rune of Opening and Fire
Renewed clarity
Dispelling darkness that's been shrouding life
Clear intent
Concentration
More light = seeing in what needs to go
Operating in light

5. Challenge - Rune of Withdrawal and Ice (see the relation to #4)
Winter of spiritual life
Feelings of powerlessness, need to submit, surrender, sacrifice
Rebirth
Freeze on useful activity
Plans are on hold
Outmoded habits to cope
Feeling of being out of touch with life
What am I holding onto and what can I let go of?
Shed, release, cleanse
Sacrifice of the personal
Submit and be still
What was full now must become empty to move forward
To surrender is to display courage & strength
Time of restoration
Do not work my will
Watch for signs of Spring

6. New Situation - Rune of The Warrior
I am a spiritual warrior
The battle is within the Self
I need to stay out of my own way
Cut away the old, the dead, the extraneous
Patience
Look within; delve down to life itself
Find my deepest needs
Allow it a voice
Self-conquest is powerful - calls for awareness, compassion, total trust
Courage
Dedication

7. Resolution - Rune of Breakthrough and Transformation
Major shift
Breakthrough of self change
Complete transformation
Transform life forever
Radical trust
Leap into the void (see #1)
Warrior nature reveals itself
Period of achievement & prosperity
Darkness is behind; daylight has come
Hard work is ahead but undertake it with joy

I know this might not mean a lot to most, but it means a lot to me. This is so where I am right now - and so where I want to go - to the light and the understanding and the shedding of the old. This speaks to so many layers - the old body, the old mind-set, the old self hate. I really need to focus on who I am now, not what I was or who I thought I was. That really goes back to the new mantra of not trying to change my beginning but my end, which is what ultimately matters.

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